Magicians suck
by CrazyBMTgirls
Summary: Two crazy girls from earth turned the Magicians' Guild upside down. Find out how Akkarin ended up on a wheelchair, how Lady Vinara is eaten up by a monkey and what other purpose does the gong used in every Meet serves.A super hilarious BMT fan fiction.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: We do not own Black Magician Trilogy. It belongs to Trudi Canavan.**_

Warning: You either fall on your butt laughing at the story, or shut your whole computer in disgust in this story. Do not read this in a library as chances of you laughing out loud is high as this story is super hilarious! Our purpose of writing this story is not to condemn the Black Magician Trilogy but to take a new approach on writing. Despite this being Canavan's work, we own the ideas in this story so if u steal it, we will steal your balls.

Another warning: We do not grow up under the influence of the English language. We are Chinese but our country teaches us English in school. So please excuse us for our mistakes and the numerous Chinese/Hokkien slangs here (but we will explain the slangs to u).

**CHAPTER 1: The cursed BMT books**

**Have you ever wondered if your BMT books are cursed? Have you ever wondered what might happen to you when you open them? Below is what happens to Kitty and Miyuki that started off their adventures in the Guild…**

"Hey, isn't this the book that our English teacher extracted from into our English Comprehension?" Miyuki cried out in surprise as she spotted the Black Magician Trilogy books arranged neatly on the bookshop shelf.

Kitty gasped out,"Oh yah..."

She grabbed the Magician's Guild book and flipped through it. Sure enough there was the familiar scene of "Bring me my robes" on one of the pages. Miyuki shrieked in delight and snatched the book away from kitty. She remembered during that time during English class, the teacher had asked two students to act out that scene. It turned into a comedy play because as the 'Takan' kneels to the 'High Lord', the 'Takan' lifted the robes of the 'High Lord' to see what's underneath.

"Shut up! The two of you are making so much noise and disrupting everyone!" the bookshop assistant got off the counter and silenced the two girls.

"But... But this book is just so damn awesome!" Miyuki exclaimed in wonderment and awe.

The bookshop assistant stared at us as though we were mad before suggesting, "Well... Since you all like the books so much, buy it! Now we are having a sale ― buy all 3 books of the Black Magician trilogy for only $5!"

Miyuki whooped in delight after hearing that and with a speed as quick as lightning, she grabbed all the Black Magician Trilogy books and dashed to the counter. As she headed to the counter, she spun back to Kitty, "Don't you want to read the whole trilogy and see if there is anymore servant propose to master scene? We divide the $5 cost. You pay $4, I pay $1!"

She threw a dollar coin at the counter and rushed out of the little bookshop with the 3 books. Given the thickness of the books, an uneducated person would probably think she was a hardworking student who bought a whole encyclopaedia. While waiting for Kitty to exit the bookshop, she examined the covers of the books.

Miyuki couldn't help but let out her high-pitched trademark laugh as she observed the covers in great details. The cover of Magician's Guild reminded her of a magician who was going to bang her head with a pole to commit suicide. The cover of Novice reminded her of a magician who was carrying a pole on his shoulder to hang some clothes. Whereas the cover of High Lord resembled a magician who just saw a rat and was trying to hit the rat with the lifted pole.

Too absorbed in her laughter, she rolled all over the ground, laughing like a barbarian. The bookshop door finally swung open, revealing Kitty, not very pleased that Miyuki had cheated her of her money though some part of her anticipated reading the Black Magician Trilogy by Trudi Canavan. Their English teacher had read a part of it to the class and asked them to do a comprehension on it. Miyuki couldn't care less about languages so she wrote a whole chunk of nonsense and submitted it.

"Hey, let me have the Novice book. I like the pole cover. It's like those old farmers carrying their goods on a pole." Kitty said and snatched Novice.

Miyuki snorted and held up High Lord. "How low of you. You choose a weak novice whereas I... I CHOOSE THE HIGH LORD!"

Not wanting to be defeated, Kitty grabbed the Magician's Guild. "You have the High Lord, so what? I have the WHOLE MAGICIAN GUILD!"

Still squabbling over which book was more powerful, Kitty and Miyuki proceeded to a bench and sat down, dying to start reading the books.

"Let's open Novice first! I want to see of the magicians are really garang guni (a rag and bone man who collects unwanted items from you and pay you a sum of money for that item's price)!" Kitty urged. Miyuki nodded and flipped the Novice book open with eager hands.

During the very second when Miyuki opened the book, a puff of smoke rose up from the book, surprising the two of them. "Wow, the book is catching fire?" Miyuki shrieked in a bewildered voice, while Kitty looked intrigued.

And then another more shocking event happened.

The puff of smoke arranged itself to form an image of a boy in brown robes.

"What the..." Miyuki gasped, too stunned for words.

The boy smirked at them and hissed at them with an ugly grin on his face. "Come with me, the two of you. Follow me to the Magician's Guild. I am Regin, from House of Paren, Family Winar..."

Kitty yelled," Are you crazy? May the High Lord whack your ass like a baby!"

Kitty opened the High Lord book, not fully expecting a so-called High Lord to pop out of it.

But he did.

An image of a rather handsome man in black robes with golden incal emerged from the book. Now, Kitty and Miyuki could feel their heart racing.

"What is happening?" Miyuki stuttered, her face pale. Kitty was so horrified that she fell off the bench.

"Bring me my robes." the High lord commanded. Miyuki and Kitty screamed out a 'HELP' in horror. The High Lord realized that no one is responding to him and snapped irritably," The book has weakened me. I need your strength."

"You... You... Xiao (crazy) ah..." Miyuki's voice was trembling.

Kitty, luckily, had a brilliant idea. "Go back to your boobs!" she shouted as she closed Novice and High Lord with a loud snap.

Silence. A peaceful yet deadly silence. The sweat from Kitty's forehead dripped onto the grass, providing them with water and salt. Kitty looked at Miyuki, Miyuki looked at Kitty, then they both looked at the Magician's Guild book. A novice and high lord had already frightened them this much. What if they opened the Magician's Guild?

"I think we should burn these books," Kitty suggested, still unable to get over the shock she had just now.

Miyuki shook her head. "No! Burning them waste money! Let's sell them to a garang guni and let the garang guni go to the Magician's Guild."

Kitty nodded, finding the idea of pranking a karang guni very tempting. And the two of them turned to all of the three books, their gazes locked on them cautiously.

Then, a gust of wind came.

Their worst nightmare had come true. The pages of the Magician's Guild were exposed, the crisp papers flapping with the wind. Like negative charges and positive charges, Kitty and Miyuki couldn't help but be attracted into the book. Their screams were lost in the wind and there wasn't a single soul nearby to save them.

There was hope when an old lady strolled by, humming an old song. But all hope vanished again when the old lady grabbed her chest in shock, breathing heavily. The last thing they saw before darkness engulfed them was the old lady collapsing to the ground.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2: Into the slums**

**In the previous chapter, Kitty and Miyuki got sucked into the cursed book- The Magicians' Guild. The two girls, interestingly, landed into the slums after been sucked into the book instead of landing in the Guild. What will await them? Will they create havoc in the rundown slums? How will Cery (I can hear Cery fangirls cheering already) respond to their arrivals and hilarious actions? Read on to find out!**

Cery didn't work for the Thieves, unlike what others thought. His father was a Thief but that didn't make him a Thief. I mean, if your father is a man and you are a girl, that does not make you a man right? Yes, Cery did hang out with the Thieves and he did steal from people (bras, only), but that was all.

Today, he did get into just a little bit of trouble though. The guards nearly got Harrin and his gang for farting in front of a magician. All 20 boys let out a huge fart and the magician had fainted from the intolerable stink. And now the guards were looking for them. What was wrong with those rich people? He bet their farts are even smellier.

Curse those magicians, Cery thought. May birds poop all over their guild and all over their robes.

The street was in its usual devastating state. It was the street he grew up in, and he could walk his way through blindfolded. Nothing unusual today, just the same street filled with ragged beggars… until Cery noticed two strange figures.

"Damn! Don't tell me this is really the Magicians' Guild? This guild is so dirty and disgusting!" The girl with two high pigtails commented. The girl beside her with a short bob hair shrugged and looked as if she was on the verge of breaking down as she cried out, "I don't care whether this is the Magicians' Gill or not! I just want to… go home!"

Go home? The weird clothes they were clad in and the words they spoke made no sense to Cery at all. Although they have the typical Kyralian black hair and black eyes, there was something about their facial features that made them so unlike a Kyralian. Who are these people? Where do they come from? Cery don't remember seeing these people in the slums and that made him extremely curious about them. Silently he observed them.

"Crap, there's no reception here at all!" Two pigtails violently fiddled with a little rectangular box with an apple logo. "Why is this horrible place so rundown? There isn't a single telephone booth! And do they even have lamps?"

Two pigtails and Short Bob fumbled through their strange-looking bags, and then pulled out some books and a bigger black rectangular box with the words "Casio Calculator" on it. They grimaced as they sat on the dirty floor.

"Well, Magicians' Guild or rundown village, we have calculus homework to do. If they want to use their so-called "magic power" on us, they will have to face my x to the power of one thousand!"

The word Magicians' Guild caught his attention. Cery realised that there was something funny about their accents as well. It wasn't any accent that he had heard of. Slowly, he approached the two girls.

"Excuse me…"

"Eh!" Two Pigtails interrupted him. "Village boy. What is this country? Why no flag here? Did the magicians made the flag invisible? Or are they too ashamed of themselves to even create a flag?"

"I am Cery and this is Kyralia." Cery replied. What were they talking about? What flag? What is with the magicians making the flag invisible and been ashamed of themselves?

To his surprise, the girls laughed.

"Are you a Black Magician Trilogy hardcore fan, Cherry?" Short Bob asked. "Do all of you kneel down and propose to magicians every day? Why aren't you wearing your robes? And where is that stupid black robes magician? I want to propose to him and then lift up his robes!"

Annoyance grew inside Cery. These girls were definitely not in the right state of mind.

"This is Kyralia and you would receive the same answer no matter who you ask. But watch your words. Insulting the Guild magicians is considered a serious crime…"

Short Bob scratched her head. "I don't get it. Miyuki and I were sucked inside Magicians' Guild. You mean this is not the Magicians' Guild? Why did we end up here in…Kickapoo instead? Never heard of it. Is this area so insignificant that no one want to include it on the maps? Or is it illegal?"

Cery sighed and then quietly sneaked away. They didn't look at all ugly. Cute, child-like, but not womanly beautiful. Still he was so curious about them that he walked slowly, wanting to catch more snippets of their weird conversation.

"Why is the little boy treating the magicians like they are something great? This country is so weird. In here, people get punished for insulting magicians. In our country, magicians can go to jail for performing magic in public without a license."

"Maybe the Magicians' Guild is actually a terrorist group? Like I care. But I am hungry! Do you think the magicians can make a bowl of tom yam noodles appear from nowhere?"

Two Pigtails went to one of the food stores. She approached the stall owner, muttered some words and then offered some green notes. The stall owner shook his head and Two Pigtails went back to Short Bob disappointedly.

"What is with this country? No money changer at all to exchange my notes for Kyralian currency! And that person can't accept my S bucks! Our country is one of the most developed countries you know!"

"Ah, I have an idea!"

Silence followed. Cery slowed his pace, wondering what the foreigners do to earn money.

A honking sound echoed throughout the streets. He heard Two Pigtails yelled, "Karang guni! Xiu bo zhua, sa kor, radiyo, dien shi ki!" (This Hokkien sentence means: Rag and bone man here! Give me your old newspapers, clothes, radio and television!)

Short Bob echoed after her, "Karang Guni! Give me all your rubbish! Just don't give me your shit!"

A crowd had gathered around the two maniacs. Cery noted a lot of the slum dwellers having a puzzled yet amused expression. Two pigtails even started dancing, a kind of dance he had never seen before.

"Why are you still looking at us? Are you trying to molest us with your eyes?" Out of the blue, Short bob spun to him and snapped at him irritably.

Cery shook his head and walked away.

Miyuki remembered the extract from her English Comprehension. It went something like this:

"_It's done," he said, plucking at the clasp and pulling the cloak from his shoulders._

_Sonea's breath caught in her throat as she saw what was underneath. The man was wearing the ragged garments of a beggar. _

_And they were stained with blood._

_The man looked down at himself and an expression of distaste crossed his face._

"_Did you bring my robes?"_

_The servant murmured an answer. Sonea choked back a gasp of surprise and horror. The man was a magician. _

_He grasped the bloodstained shirt and pulled it over his head, revealing a leather belt strapped to his waist. A large dagger sheath hung from the belt. _

_Removing the belt, he tossed it and the shirt onto a table, then pulled a large bowl of water and a towel into sight. The magician dipped the towel into the water and quickly scrubbed the red stains from his bare chest. Each time he rinsed the towel, the water turned a darker shade of pink._

_Then an arm came into view, holding a bundle of black material. The magician took the cloth and moved out of sight._

_Sonea sat back on her haunches. Black robes? She had never seen a black-robed magician before. None of the magicians in the Purge had worn black. His position in the Guild must be unique. Bending down again, she considered the blood-stained clothes. Perhaps he was an assassin. _

_The magician moved into view again. He was wearing black robes now and had combed and bound his dark hair into a tail. Reaching for the belt, he unclipped the lid of the dagger pouch._

_Sonea drew in a quick breath. The dagger's handle glittered in the light. Gems set within it send out glints of red and green. The magician examined the long, curved blade closely, and then carefully wiped it on the towel. He looked up at the hidden servant. _

"_The fight has weakened me," he said. "I need your strength."_

_She heard a murmured reply. The servant's legs moved into view, and then all but his head appeared as he dropped to one knee and held out his arm. The magician grasped the man's wrist. _

Sadly, she remembered most of the questions and answers too.

Q: Why did an expression of distaste cross the magician's face?

A: He had menstruation.

Q: What was the bundle of black material?

A: My pet cat's hair.

Q: What do you think the magician is going to do with his servant?

A: He is going to teach his servant how to shave himself with a dagger.

Q: Why did the servant drop to one knee?

A: He wanted to propose to the magician.

"Miyuki, why are you laughing?" Kitty asked, munching on her banana.

"Nothing. I just thought of something funny."

They had traded their Chinese textbook for these bananas. They told the stallholder that the book contains some valuable ancient texts and apparently, the stallholder believed them. They even heard the stallholder murmuring about planning to sell it to the magicians for a hefty price.

"Hey Miyuki!" Kitty said.

A figure stepped in front of them. About a dozen more appeared. They didn't look very friendly and they all had light brown skin.

The worst thing was that they were carrying daggers…

**A side note: We don't own the part in italics. We only own our ideas. So, back to the story, Kitty and Miyuki were unlucky enough to meet the Ichanis. What would the Ichanis do to them? Would they prank the Ichanis? These mysteries are solved in the next chapter **

**And be patient, dear readers, Kitty and Miyuki would go to the Guild very soon and they would turn the whole guild upside down! So please continue reading! **


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3: The "powerful" Ichanis**

**In Chapter 2, Kitty and Miyuki went into the slums (not that they were willing to) and became a rag and bone man to earn money. They even traded their precious Chinese textbooks just for some bananas! Just when they were feasting on their bananas, something unexpected happened. People in light brown skin carrying daggers (Just to take note: They are the Ichanis) approached them. Will they try out their pranks or will they be in danger? Read on to find out!**

"Test then for latent magic," the tallest of the gang of light brown skin people commanded.

"Yes. Kariko."

Miyuki and Kitty took a step back, feeling both intrigued and exasperated. Are the people in this world all so mad over magic?

"Latent…" Miyuki stammered. "You think what, latent heat of vapourisation? My latent heat of vapourisation is zero J/C, so watch me turn into a gas now!"

The light brown skin people looked at them like they were crazy. Uneducated bunch of magician who failed Physics, Miyuki thought.

It was at this moment when one of the light brown skin people made its way towards them and held his dagger up. Miyuki and Kitty were trembling so much that they dropped the banana they were eating.

The ugly man continued to edge closer to them, his expression grim. Miyuki and Kitty tried to escape but they couldn't move at all. They resorted to asking them some foolish questions to distract them, such as "Why is your skin light brown?" to no avail. Miyuki and Kitty thought they were doomed, but then…

The most amazing thing happened.

In fact, 10 amazing things happened.

1. One second before, the man was looming before them, ferocious and threatening. The next second, the man slipped on the banana peel, his pink panties exposed to the whole world. Kitty and Miyuki witnessed, stunned, as blood oozed out of his head.

2. Another man stepped forward in fury, flashing his own dagger at them. With shaking fingers at this moment of peril, Miyuki grabbed anything, anything that could be thrown at the man. She spotted a barrel of tomatoes at the corner and grabbed them. Tomatoes started flying around. It splattered into the man's eyes. The man staggered backwards, hitting his head hard on the ground. Miyuki was not sure whether the red liquid flowing out from the man's forehead is the tomato juice or his blood.

3. Running as fast as they could, Kitty and Miyuki made numerous turns around the streets. The remaining men gave chase, their long legs giving them an advantage. Kitty hid behind a barrel and one of the men walked by, searching for her. The man was panting heavily and he looked rather pale. An idea formed in her mind. She sneaked up to the poor elderly man and shouted "BOO!" and watched in triumph as the man collapsed to the ground, clutching his chest desperately.

4. Miyuki dug into her bag for something to protect herself with. She was thinking of using her Maths textbook to whack the particularly attractive man who was chasing her but her hands found a mirror. She flashed the mirror in front of the unsuspecting man…

"Oh my!" the man admired himself in the mirror and exclaimed out. "I didn't know I'm so handsome!"

Using his distraction as an advantage, Miyuki delivered a punch in his face. He crumpled to the ground, motionless.

5. Kitty hurriedly pressed 999 (our country's hotline for the police) on her phone to call the police for help but the call couldn't get through. The sun was scorching hot at that time and the little screen of the phone reflected the sun's light. She screamed as one of the men grabbed her from behind. It was at this moment when the man yelled in shock, the reflected light from the phone blinding his eyes. She seized the opportunity to deliver a smack onto the man's left cheek.

6. Kitty spun back to find yet another man giving chase. Swiftly, Kitty picked up a rock from the ground. She aimed the rock at the man but her aiming failed. The rock hit a lady who was hanging out some clothes from a bamboo pole on one of the house's window square on the head. The lady got such a nasty shock that she dropped the bamboo pole. The blanket hanging from the bamboo pole fluttered down and covered the man's head. The man let out a gasp of surprise and before he could pull the blanket down, Kitty suffocated him with the blanket.

7. "OH HAILS THE POWER OF ALGEBRA!" Miyuki opened a random page of her Maths textbook and showed it to one of the man who was approaching her. He scratched his head, utterly confused by the numerous formulas as he mumbled, "You know, I always received a zero for my tests." A punch travelled to his face before he knew it.

8. Miyuki ran so much that her women pad slipped off. She grimaced as the pad landed on the ground, the bloody part exposed. One of the men froze and screamed out a "BLOOD!" Then, he closed his eyes and never opened them again. "How weak, it's just blood!" she cried out but the man had already died.

9. Kitty caught one of the men sleeping and stealing a kettle from one of the houses, she poured the hot raka down his throat. He whined as the sizzling water burnt his throat before his lips turned blue.

10. No one seemed to be pursuing them after that. Exhausted, they slumped onto a wall, breathless. The bodies of the once-menacing men lay lifelessly on the ground. They were safe now. They had defended themselves. It was at this time when a figure walked by, donned in black robes. They looked up in and were stunned as they immediately recognised the person.

The High Lord yelled, 'You killed the ICHANIS?"

**A side note: Now that the High Lord of the Magicians' Guild had realised the fact that Miyuki and Kitty had "killed" all of the Ichanis, how would he feel? What would he do to them? Chapter 4 is about Miyuki and Kitty's interesting encounter with the High Lord, and they would be finding themselves in the Guild then (I pity all the Guild members- they are going to suffer soon). Oh, enough hints for now! Dear readers stay tuned and prepare to laugh your heads off! **


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4: Let those pranks in the Magicians' Gill commence**

In Chapter 3, Kitty and Miyuki successfully killed the Ichanis due to their cleverness and luck, and coincidentally, High Lord Akkarin of the Magicians' Guild found out about it. What would he do to them? What misconception would he have about them? Would this Ichani wipeout change Kitty and Miyuki's lives forever? Why not read on to find out? And oh yes, prepare to laugh till you cry!

"Tell me, how did you kill the Ichanis?" The High Lord's scary eyes bored onto them. "I spent years trying to kill the Ichanis and the two of you killed them so effortlessly that I didn't even detect any use of strong magic!"

"Um…" Miyuki stammered. "What Ic… Ice kacang?"

Kitty interrupted, proudly announcing, "We use MAGIC! We are so powerful that we killed them with magic! That'll show the Magicians' Fish Gill for being so arrogant!'

The High Lord's eyes widened and he scanned Kitty and Miyuki in great detail, as though they were samples from a museum.

'Where do you come from? Did you know the Guild do not allow rogue magicians to exist outside of its control? Who is your teacher and why are you here?"

Miyuki blinked. "Huh? What are you talking about? I don't know. I woke up on bed this morning and found myself in this dirty fish gill. We don't have any teachers. We train ourselves."

"Ah, a natural." There was a faint smile. "Show me what you can do. This is rare you know."

Kitty took out her mobile phone which was switched on. There was a light from it, shining brightly.

"See! Magic!" Kitty exclaimed. Then, in a softer voice, she mumbled, "Hopefully, they have no idea what is technology."

A look of surprise crossed the High Lord's face before he commended, "That's a very strong globe light." Then he reached a hand out to them. "Can I test your magic potential?'

"NO!" They yelled at the same time. "Don't molest us! We don't even know who the hell are you. You suddenly popped out from nowhere in this horrifying black robes."

"I am High Lord Akkarin, from the Magicians' Guild. Look, the two of you may not understand how powerful the Ichanis are but —"

Miyuki laughed her trademark laugh. "You are a magician? Show us some tricks, like pull a rabbit out of your hat. Or robes. Whatever lah!"

"Why is your name so weird?" Kitty asked. "Ah Curry?"

The High Lord sighed and repeated, "Let me test your magical potential…" He held out his arm once more towards Miyuki and kitty.

"MOLEST!" Kitty shrieked.

Miyuki, without thinking, smacked the High lord's outstretched arm with her palm.

A menacing look of fury washed across the High Lord's face then. He roared out, "No one has ever tried to hurt me physically before except the Ichani! And my own mother who smacks my ass when I'm a baby!"

Kitty and Miyuki sensed that something was not right and their instincts told them to back away…

As they edged away from the black-robed figure, Miyuki nudged Kitty. "Kitty, when I count to 3, both of us takes out our hand phones and blind him with the flashlight, okay? If that is not enough, we take out our water bottle and splash water at him." She whispered. Kitty nodded rigidly as she trembled in fear. "And then, we would run away before he tries to injure us or something," Miyuki added on.

The High Lord's expression unexpectedly softened at this moment. He tried to explain to them in a smooth voice now, "I apologise for that outburst. But it is my duty to test how strong the two of your magic are. You see, the Ichanis are really powerful and I myself couldn't kill them. Since you two helped to do the world a huge favour even though you do not understand the danger, I wish to give you a place in the Magician's Guild. But you must tell no one about the Ichanis. Only 9 Ichanis have been killed. There's still Kariko and a few others."

Both of them let out a gasp of shock when he mentioned "Magicians' Guild." Kitty screamed out, "I don't want to end up in the Magicians' Gill! Are the magicians a fish or something? Why do they have gill? Are you sure you are not a terrorist?"

Miyuki nodded too and her instinct made her turn in the other direction and dash away from the perverted magician who want to send her to that horrible place. "As if I had wanted all this to happen! Blame it on the bookshop assistant who sold us those cursed books!" Miyuki murmured as she ran for her life while cursing the bookshop assistant. Kitty followed suit behind her.

Both of them skidded to a halt as they encountered something invisible blocking their path. Kitty tried to get through but let out a surprised cry as the invisible blockage stung her and pushed her back.

Before Kitty and Miyuki could understand all that was happening, somebody from behind gripped their arms forcefully and they spun back, bracing for the worst. Sure enough, that "somebody" was the High Lord.

"Follow me back to the Guild now. At there I would test your magical potential," He told the two of them in a cold voice before dragging them down the streets. "And don't attempt to try out any magic from now on. The two of you had not mastered Control yet and your magic might endanger yourselves and others," He continued.

Kitty was trying desperately to struggle out of his strong grip then while Miyuki turned to the High Lord and snapped, "What crap are you talking about? You control your own sexual desires first! You better let us go now or I would punch you in your face!"

Their attempts were of course useless. The High Lord tightened his grip on them as they twisted and turned through numerous corners.

Kitty began to whimper and ignoring the curious stares the slum dwellers were casting on them, she shouted out, "I don't want to be an ingredient in his curry!"

Miyuki, whereas, was trying to spit on the golden incal on the High Lord's black robes out of anger, and also in an attempt to escape by distracting the High Lord.

But all their efforts were useless. As they stepped through a gate and the High Lord introduced to them, "This is the Guild", they knew that all hopes were lost. The gigantic buildings loomed before them, as if wanting to swallow them up.

As they passed a garden, Kitty stopped weeping and instead began to examine the surrounding in curiosity before remarking, "So this is the Guild after all. Well, I finally got a glimpse of how the Guild is like."

Miyuki snorted in disgust and replied, "The Guild is so ugly. My toilet is a thousand times better than this!" She then heard the High Lord, who had all the while been quiet, mumbled an "Arrogant" under his voice.

The High Lord led them towards the direction of a grey stone building. Along the way, lots of people in robes who passed them stopped and bowed. "Wow, they are bowing towards us ah!" Miyuki cried out in amazement. Kitty let out a triumphant "Oh really? I wonder why everyone is in bathing robes. Ah, but I'm so honored people are bowing to me. I must look more handsome than the High Lord."

They heard the High Lord mumble something in disgust at that.

Kitty was observing the robed figures now, apparently interested. "They are all either dressed in brown, red, purple or green," She pointed out, her eyes widening.

The High Lord answered then, "Very observant of you. They are—"

"I know I know!" kitty interrupted. "Purple for international gay, brown for mud, red for sexual purposes and green for... Frogs?"

Miyuki let out her trademark laugh at the Kitty's reply. "Are you crazy? I bet those robes are of low quality so they all can afford so many right? I bet I could tear them into shreds! How many times do you wear the robes before they have holes everywhere?" She commented. "Ah, I know why you are in black robes. You are mourning for the death of your armpit hair."

"Very soon you all are going to wear brown robes," The High Lord said, ignoring Miyuki's comment.

Both Miyuki and Kitty fell silence at that as they were immediately reminded of the truth: They would be joining the Guild soon and they would have to wear those stupid robes like the rest.

A rather handsome man with blonde hair walked past, fanning himself. When he saw the High Lord, he bowed and greeted, "High Lord."

"Lord Fergun." Akkarin greeted.

"Fur-Gun?" Kitty repeated. "Is he such a furry gun? And why did you call him Lord? Is he your husband?"

Fergun yelled in disgust. "Who are you calling..."

His words were cut off by Miyuki's laughters. "Oh my god! You sound like a sissy! Why is your voice so high-pitched? You addicted to helium arh? Is Mickey mouse your idol?"

The High Lord quickly dragged them away.

They were feeling so helpless and upset about joining the Guild. So much that they did not notice they were in the High lord's residence already.

"Sit." The High Lord commanded as he gestured to a few chairs. Both of them grinned when they saw the chair, immediately remembering the Chair Aerobics lessons they always have in school.

As they settled down in the chairs reluctantly, a man in light-brown skin filled out three glasses of water and handed out one for each of them before giving the last one to the High Lord. He then bowed and strolled away.

"AN ICHANI!" Miyuki yelled. "Crap, I ran out of ideas to kill another Ichani. Maybe I can show him the bodies of his dead friends and make him be frightened to death."

"This is Takan, my servant," The High Lord explained.

"Well, isn't he going to propose to you now? What does he do as a servant? Shave your armpits or something?" Miyuki asked gleefully before bursting into laughter. Kitty covered her mouth and tried hard to stifle her laughter.

The High Lord's grim expression warned them to be quiet and as they did so, he began his questioning. Miyuki and Kitty tried to answer truthfully but the High Lord seemed to think that their answers were crazy. This was their conversation:

_(First, High Lord Akkarin made a globe light.)_

_Miyuki: "Wah, you won't burn yourself? Your hand got put battery right? Later short circuit, then the whole fish gill explodes! Then everyone has to wear black robes for mourning!"_

_Akkarin: "Erm, first tell me your names."_

_Kitty: "I am Kitty and she is Miyuki. And…we BOTH LOVE TWILIGHT!"_

_Akkarin: "Twilight? You mean the period of time where there is the dim light before the sun rises or set…"_

_Kitty: "I don't mean that! You mean you never heard of Twilight before? Facebook have A LOT of Twilight fan pages! Why didn't you notice?"_

_Miyuki: "Oh yes Ah Curry! Do you have Facebook? Add me as your friend! Just one more friend and my Facebook friend list would hit 1000!"_

_Akkarin: "What is Face book? We don't have a book called "face" here. We only have Alchemy books, Warrior books and Healing books."_

_Miyuki: "What century is this arh? You don't know what is Facebook? This is the dinosaur era right? So you must be a caveman! Ah Curry! Now you cannot add me! Go create an account, and then I add you."_

_Akkarin: "Anyway… you all were speaking about Twilight? What is it then, since you all said it is a different meaning?"_

_Kitty: "It is about Edward Cullen! He is a vampire and he has MASSIVE STRENGTH! I love him!"_

_Akkarin: "I have massive strength too."_

_Miyuki: "YOU? Don't blow your own trumpet lah! I want to puke!"_

_Akkarin: "Now stop all these. Please tell me what Houses are you all from?"_

_Kitty: "House? I live in a HDB flat!"_

_Miyuki: "Me too! 4-room flat!"_

_Akkarin: "I assume that you are not from any Houses?"_

_Miyuki: "What Houses? You think you are what? Salesman arh? You want to find out the price of our houses so you can compare and see which one worth more, right?"_

_Akkarin: "Well, I guess you are not from any Houses. I am Akkarin, from House Delvon, Family Velan."_

_Kitty: "Wah! What a joke! Ah Curry from House Devil, Family Valency Electrons!"_

_Akkarin: "How dare you disrespect my House and Family!"_

_Miyuki: "Why should we respect a house of devil electrons?"_

_Akkarin: "You... Never mind, the Ichanis must have given you a fright and you are still confused. You may stay in one of my rooms in the residence."_

Miyuki and Kitty protested strongly in staying over at the High Lord's residence. "I don't want to stay with a curry! It is too spicy!" Kitty exclaimed in dread. The High Lord still ushered them up to their room upstairs nevertheless.

As they climbed up the stairs, they noticed portraits of some men in robes hanging from the walls.

"Who are those ugly men?" Miyuki questioned in unconcealed disgust. Then, she pointed to one with a very ugly wrinkled face and said to Kitty,"Hey this is your future husband!"

Kitty grimaced and pointed to another one with a lot of pimples. "Miyuki, that's you future husband!"

The High Lord's voice turned abruptly stern, "They are the men who had once been the High Lord of the Guild. They dedicated their whole life into serving the Guild and must be well-respected. They may be dead now, but their hearts remained with the Guild."

Miyuki sneered and pointed to the most recently-dead High Lord portrait, "Eh Ah Curry. This one is your ex-husband. While you were sleeping with him in bed, you rolled over and then crushed him with your fats. That's why he died."

The High Lord closed his eyes suddenly and Miyuki let out a scream of pain as she felt something striking her chest forcefully.

The High Lord reopened his eyes then and warned Miyuki and Kitty, "Anymore of these nonsense and the two of you would have to suffer my strikes."

The High Lord's warning was scary enough to keep the two girls silent as they were led into a room which they had to share. Before leaving the room, the High Lord turned back to them and told them, "I would test your magical potential tomorrow."

Immediately Miyuki and Kitty let out a loud shout of "NO!"

The High Lord sighed and stared at them, bewildered over their reluctance.

"Well, you had already seen us kill the Ice Kacang or whatever. That means we are already very strong in magic. Why the hassle over the stupid testing?' Miyuki explained smoothly. Kitty nodded in agreement. That was no way they were going to let Akkarin know that they weren't as powerful as they said they were.

The High Lord gave in, "Alright then…" He was about to step out when he turned back once again before informing them, "Just to let you all know, I am the first person to discover your magical potential. Thus I am going to be the guardian of the two of you in the Guild. It is late now, so questions tomorrow." He headed out then, without bothering about Miyuki and Kitty's replies. The door clicked shut behind him as his footsteps faded into the distance.

"Guardian? You mean the pharmacy shop ah?" Kitty asked Miyuki in confusion. "I buy my make ups from Guardian."

Miyuki nearly fell off the bed. "Not that, Kitty! It means he would be the one taking care of us!" She snapped at Kitty in exasperation as Kitty let out a huge gasp of shock.

"No! I don't want! I don't want to stay here and I don't want Ah Curry to be my guardian! Imagine him selling beauty products to me!" She cried as tears began to stream down her face again.

Miyuki looked confident as she replied, "For the escaping part I am not sure. What I am sure about is that Ah Curry is going to have a hard time from now on."

Kitty's eyes widened, "What do you mean by a "hard time"? Do you mean… you are going to play pranks on him?"

Miyuki nodded as she took out her notebook.

"Prank number one…" Her voice trailed off as she started explaining the pranks…

**Side note: Dear readers, stay tuned to find out what pranks Miyuki have in store. And by the way, we love Twilight very much! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Anti Ah Curry**

**In Chapter 4, High Lord Akkarin "kidnapped" Miyuki and Kitty to the Magicians' Guild and offered them a place there just because he mistook them to have magical potential due to the Ichani incident. Miyuki and Kitty protested strongly and once they stepped into the Guild, those verbal pranks on the Guild members start! But these teasing words they hurl at the Guild are only the beginning of their pranks. **

Akkarin stared at the two girls in disgust as they ate their breakfast, their legs resting on the table. When they saw him looking at them, they stopped eating.

"Why aren't the two of you eating?" he asked.

Miyuki replied, "Who can eat after seeing that face of yours? You look like someone owe you a billion dollar. Ah Curry, your devil house got games or not? I want to play Angry Bird."

"Angry bird? There's some bird in the garden, do you need me to catch the angriest bird for you?"

Miyuki burst out laughing while Kitty gave him the 'you're a noob' face. Taken came in and collect the uneatened food, not very pleased that his food was not enjoyed. Poor Takan, those two girls were almost impossible to please. Since their arrival, they kept talking about strange things (there's actually a book with a face and a phone with an eye) and denouncing how rundown his residence was.

"Hey, Lao Ah Peh (old man)," Kitty commented. "That Makan (Malay language for eat) or Takan or whatever Kan, you better be careful of him. Not only is he an Ice Kacang (referring to the ichani here), he's an eunuch. Eunuchs can get very lonely."

"Eunuch?" Akkarin exclaimed.

Kitty shrugged. "Don't you barbaric people remove the, erm, down there of male servants? Because during the olden Chinese time ―"

"WHAT? WE ARE CIVILISED PEOPLE!"

Miyuki gave him the 'yeah whatever' look. Akkarin couldn't believe it. He knew that the slums thought lowly of the Magician's Guild, but not as low as such extreme extent.

How did they manage to kill 9 Ichanis so effortlessly? When Akkarin saw 9 dead Ichanis and the two girls panting for air, he knew that they killed the Ichanis. But how?

He decided to try his luck again.

"May I test your ―"

"Eh, Ah Curry. The Gill got kopitiam (hawker shop) or not?" Kitty interrupted. "Why is your breakfast is just some bread when you're so rich? You think you what? Monk? Ah Curry, give me your credit card, I want to buy some food from the kopitiam. "

At that moment, Takan came in carrying 3 cups of sumi. Miyuki and Kitty took a gulp and quickly spat everything out. The contents hit the High Lord, soaking his robes.

_Urgh, I need to change my robes_, Akkarin grimaced.

"Ew! What is this shit? Your pee, your saliva, your semen?" Kitty condemned the sumi. "I knew it! That ichani wants to poison us!"

"This is sumi." Akkarin lifted the cup proudly. "It's a luxury enjoyed by the rich and noble people."

"Su... Sum... Sumo? You think you can become a sumo wrestler after drinking it arh? No wonder you don't have a wife. Everyone is afraid that you'll flatten them in your sleep. Eh, do you still want to open a Guardian shop with us? If you go bankrupt, I will laugh till the whole Guild crumbles to the ground."

Akkarin was about to lecture them but Miyuki whispered something to kitty and both of then ran to the garden.

Kitty and Miyuki surveyed the Gardens carefully, hoping to catch a glimpse of Fergun again. "Hm, where is that furry gun? I want to hear his sissy voice again."

It was at this moment Kitty's gaze happened to fall on something black being hung on a bamboo pile between two trees a few paces away from her. Curiosity got the better of her and after pointing out the bundle of black thing to Miyuki, she dashed over to the two trees to investigate. The two of them edged nearer and nearer towards the black thing and then Miyuki let out her high-pitch trademark laughter as she realized what the black thing was...

"Ah Curry's robes!" Miyuki exclaimed. "He thinks this is HDB flat and he can hang his clothes wherever he wants? Later a pervert goes and steal his underwear or a garang guni (rag and bone man) come and take away his robes and sell them."

A playful smile spread across Miyuki's face. She took something from her pocket.

Snip, snip, snip, snip...

"Hurry up!" Kitty hissed. "The ice kacang Takan is coming!"

"Takan? Ask him go and Makan Ah Curry!"

Miyuki eyed her masterpiece before putting it back. Ah Curry, let's see if you still want to be our guardian after putting on these robes.

"Let's get out of this haunted house and explore the Guild!" Kitty suggested. "I want to see some magic show!"

Miyuki nodded. They walked some distance, seeing no robed figures yet. They proceeded a little further and finally saw two purple robes.

"INTERNATIONAL GAY!" Miyuki pointed. "Oh, wow... Those guys are..."

The two men turned around and stared at them curiously. One was young, the other was old. The young one was really...

"Tall..." Kitty finished Miyuki's sentence. "Eh, purple gay, have you ever considered joining Yao Ming's basketball team? Why are you so tall? If you go inside MRT, you'll keep knocking your head. Lucky this Gill don't have any electricity. If someone turns on the overhead fan, there goes your head."

Miyuki skipped towards the tall guy to compare heights. She's only at the guy's waist. "Can give me some of our height? I want to be the Eifel Tower when I grow up."

They frowned and then smiled. "You must be Miyuki and Kitty. I'm Dannyl and he's Rothen."

"STALKER! HOW DID YOU KNOW OUR NAMES?"

"The High Lord has been talking about you. He said he found two promising students and he's going to claim their guardianship. Normally, a magician only favours one novice but I think the High Lord can handle two."

No, you're so wrong, Miyuki thought. But Miyuki couldn't help smiling at how much Ah Curry had praised them. What had he said? _These two awesome girls have insulted the previous High Lords in my face. These two awesome girls have daringly mocked Fergun. These two awesome girls have spat sumi at me. _

(Continuing the conversation...)

_Kitty: So you are Rotten and he's __大牛__(da niu. Big Cow)? And together, you are Rotten Big Cow! If you stand with Akkarin, you'll be Rotten Curry. _

_Miyuki: You know, when I type Rothen on my iPhone, the auto correct changed it to Rotten. _

_Rothen: Ahem…_

_Miyuki: You have a cough? H1N1!_

_Dannyl: For your information, purple robes are for magicians who have chosen Alchemy as their discipline. _

_Kitty: Alchemy? The insane people who think they can turn shit into gold? You magicians are..._

_Miyuki: Did you know Ah Curry is from House Devil and Family Valency Electrons? What is your house and family? HDB flat or condominium or bungalow?_

_Dannyl: I'm Dannyl, House Vorin, Family Tellen. _

_Kitty: HAHAHA! Big cow, House Boring, Family Telephone! Your house is so boring that your family went to invent the telephone? Rotten, what about you?_

_Rothen: I'm not going to tell you. _

_Miyuki: I bet you are so rotten that no house and family wants you. _

_Rothen: Do you need me to speak to your guardian?_

_Miyuki: well, no..._

_(Rothen and Dannyl were about to leave)_

_Kitty: (innocent face) Please, help us. We don't want Akkarin to be our guardian. He... He tried to touch us..._

_Miyuki: (joining in the fun) Yes, please help us. In his residence, there's only him and a male servant. How can two little girls live there? And his golden incal... IT'S UGLY!_

_Dannyl: Well... Even if we agree, Akkarin is still the first to see your magical potential._

_Miyuki: Ah, that... Don't worry, in about an hour's time, Ah Curry will no longer wish to be our guardian._

**A side note: What had Miyuki and Kitty done to Akkarin's robes? Will Akkarin be able to withstand their pranks and remain as these two crazy girls' guardian? Read Chapter 6 (which we will be posting soon) to find out! By the way, please leave some reviews on how you think of our story so far. We would really appreciate a review ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Holes in his robes  
><strong>  
><strong>In the previous chapter, Miyuki and Kitty began to torture Akkarin so that he would not claim guardianship of them. They also met Rothen and Dannyl and they realised they were much better than Akkarin. Now Miyuki and Kitty long for Rothen and Dannyl to be their guardians. But will they succeed? Read on to find out! And anyway I think those Akkarin fan girls are going to throw stones at me out of anger. I can imagine those stones hitting my temples just like what happened to Fergun. But hey, just treat this as a joke and don't take it too seriously, alright? :P<strong>

Today is the weirdest day in the Magicians' Guild.

Or at least, this is what it seems to High Lord Akkarin.

As he strolled out of his residence towards the University, he was bewildered to actually feel cold when it is a nice, warm spring.

He constantly felt a gust of chilly wind battering on his body and he can't help but tremble. He assumed he himself is getting sick and ignoring the thought, he created a shield around himself to keep himself warm.

As he trotted through the Gardens, he realised that there were, as usual, a lot of magicians and novices there. It is midbreak and a lot of magicians and novices usually go there to pass time.

It was the reactions they have when they saw him that was intriguing.

The male magicians that noticed him mostly appeared disgusted. Their eyes were all as wide as plates and their mouth agape as they stared down at his robes. Before he could barely utter a word, they had already dashed off.

Whereas the female magicians blushed and appeared very embarrassed and uneasy upon spotting him. Their cheeks looked as if someone had painted red paint on them.

The male and female novices alike giggled when their gaze fell on him and without bothering to even greet him, they had already headed to their fellow friends and began to whisper something to them. Words like "Eeek" were heard from them.

Now Akkarin could only felt fury and frustration. Not only had his "little family" disregarded him by not bowing to him when they were in his presence, their reactions were anything but respectful! He was determined to have this mystery solved.

He stormed towards a male novice who seemed to be in his first-year. That particular male novice had laughed the loudest at him.

"Regin, tell me what is happening! Now."

He pulled the boy towards him and tried to question him calmly and coldly. The boy appeared to be terrified now and his gaze kept flickering to Akkarin's robes.

Akkarin gave him a sinister half-smile that would certainly scare him to the moon.

"L...Look...do...down at...your...r...robes, Hig...High lord..." Regin stammered, his face pale.

Akkarin was incensed. "I am the HIGH Lord and I should never look down! Do you want me to tell your guardian about this? Do you need me to tell your guardian about Sonea, too?" He roared at Regin. Regin escaped away in fear.

It was at that moment when Dannyl and Rothen passed him. Their eyes met when they walked past him. Rothen's reaction was disgust just like the others but Dannyl...blushed and began fidgeting with something between his legs.

Rothen spun to Dannyl then and warned, "You do not want rumors about you been a lad from resurfacing again, Dannyl."

WHAT? What had Dannyl been a lad got to do with him- the most respected High Lord in the Guild? Akkarin felt like shouting the whole Guild down in confusion.

Finally he was at the University staircase after all the horrendous commotion in the Gardens. As he levitated up the staircase, he began to ponder...

Could they have found out that I practised black magic? So Regin said "look down at your robes" to remind me of my authority here? But how could they have realised it? And if they did, they would have conducted a Hearing already and I would be in the Guildhall, hearing Lorlen strike his irritating gong over and over again...

Pushing away those thoughts, he hurried into the University for his main aim- Find Lady Vinara and discuss with her some adjustments to the Healing Discipline. He mumbled to himself, "Hopefully Vinara would not have the same reaction as the others..."

Akkarin had just said, "Vinara, regarding Healing in the Guild..." when Vinara jutted in and screamed at him in shock, her green robes rustling madly about as she did so.

"I SUGGEST YOU HEAL YOUR OWN ROBES FIRST, HIGH LORD!"

Akkarin could not take it anymore. He had never felt like this before- so humiliated. Now the only solution would be to find Lorlen, his best friend.

Lorlen is the Administrator in the Guild and being a frequent visitor to the Night Room, he would probably be very updated with the Guild's gossips and if there were really gossips circulating about him, he would surely know about it.

Lorlen was sipping on a cup of sumi when he knocked and stepped into his office. His gaze was still fixed on some letters that were spreaded over his disorganized table.

"Lorlen, my old friend."

Lorlen looked up at him and then he jumped up in horror. He losed his grip on the sumi he was holding and the sumi splattered onto his blue robes with a "splash".

"WHAT THE HIGH LORD IS GOING ON?"

"Lorlen! I am very sorry but did I startle you? Are your robes alright?" Akkarin felt rather guilty for his friend. Now his friend may have to buy new robes because of him.

"Are your robes alright?" He asked Lorlen again.

Lorlen let out a sharp gasp and snapped, "Are YOUR robes alright, Akkarin? I am not a lad and you know this!"

Akkarin was very puzzled now. What was Lorlen babbling about?

Lorlen stared at Akkarin again as though he was a maniac and questioned Akkarin, "Are you out of your mind, Akkarin? Just...look down at your robes."

Why is everyone asking him to look down at his robes? The phrase "look down at your robes" had been bombarding him ever since today like an unwelcomed flea.

He decided he should just look down anyway and get this matter clear once and for all...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! "

His instinct told him to bolt out of Lorlen's office and head back to his residence. Takan would surely know what was going on!

When he stepped into his residence, Takan was already standing at the door, his face pale as sheet.

"Master, I was just going to warn you. The two girls that you brought here, you know that two who insulted me as an ichani? They cut holes in your robes! This robes you are wearing now! Hopefully no one had seen you right, Master?" He stuttered, his voice trembling.

Holes had been cut into his robes. Two big holes for his nipples and another massive one for his "banana". There was another hole behind, exposing his butt.

Akkarin felt like killing Takan. No one? Yeah right, no one but EVERYONE!

But now that he knew who the culprits was, he was going to give them hell.

The door to the residence creaked open. Miyuki and Kitty stepped into the room nonchantly.

"It was super fun- pouring food down some poor magicians' robes like that. But of course, their bodies need to eat right..." Kitty spoke to Miyuki triumphantly and Miyuki laughed out uncontrollably.

"Oh yes. And that Awesome Osen fell down on the floor and it was so O-Sen (awesome)!"

Akkarin loomed before the two mischievous girls, his arms crossed and his expression dark. His heart was pounding with extreme fury.

"OH JUST LOOK AT THIS! OUR DEAR HIGH LORD IS SHOWING OFF HIS MANHOOD!" Miyuki let out a huge, mocking shriek when she looked up at him.

Akkarin's mind began to conjure up a punishment for them. "I would deal with the two of you very strictly once I officially become your guardian." He decided.

Kitty let out a piercing laughter before she declared defiantly, "You are not going to be our guardian, Ah Curry! Never ever! We will deal with you very strictly if you become our guardian..."

With that, Miyuki speeded toward him and...twisted his nipples sharply. Then, while Akkarin was busy with his nipples, Miyuki pulled on Akkarin's 'banana'.

Akkarin felt intense pain and he cried out in agony. Finally he understood: If he want to be rid of all those torture he is facing now, he would need to be rid of these two girls who were nothing but trouble. Alright, he knew what to do now.

"FINE! I AM NOT GOING TO BE YOUR GUARDIAN ANYMORE!" He screamed in exasperation and defeat truthfully. "But I will be in charge of your education!"

Miyuki and Kitty both whooped out in joy. "FINALLY!" Kitty heaved. "Now rotten and da niu can be our guardians!" Miyuki added on happily.

Akkarin watched as the two girls headed out of his residence in light footsteps. Somehow he had this feeling that Rothen and Dannyl are so going to suffer...

"Oh wait." Kitty paused. "When you say education... You meant kneeling down in front of you and offering our arms?"

"What?"

"You know... When the ice kacang kneel to you. You took out a dagger to cut him. Is he an emo? Why he wants to be cut? Or are you some kind of cult or satanist?"

Before they could run, Akkarin bind their movements and read their minds...

**A side note: Poor Akkarin! Luckily he is not the two crazy girls' guardian anymore. But…oh no. Miyuki and Kitty have exposed their knowledge of Akkarin's Black Magic. What will happen? And will Rothen and Dannyl really suffer just like what Akkarin predicted? Or worse, will the whole Guild suffer under these two crazy girls' pranks? Look out for Chapter 7 to find out! Once again, just treat this as a joke and don't take this too seriously! By the way, thanks for continuously supporting our story and the constructive reviews you readers give! Do continue to read and review...and laugh! :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Acceptance or Rejection Ceremony?  
><strong>  
><strong>Oh yes, before we start, we should express our thanks first! Thank you warriormagician for your constant support! Ok, rotten (blame the auto correct. Really.) and dannyl are safe. For now, we are so honoured to have Laura and Jaycest reviewing our fanfic! <strong>

**In Chapter 6, Miyuki and Kitty pranked High Lord Akkarin by cutting holes in his robes. Due to this awesome (And we are not referring to Osen here) prank, Akkarin totally embarrassed himself in front of the whole Guild. When he confronted the two crazy culprits about it, Miyuki and Kitty accidentally revealed to him their knowledge of his black magic! In this chapter, we will find out what will happen between them during the spring novice intake and explore into the guardianship issues of the two girls!****  
><strong>  
>Akkarin was in their mind now. It felt weird as Miyuki and Kitty have more brain cells than Akkarin.<p>

― Show me what you've seen.

― We didn't see anything! What do you want us to show you? Pictures of naked women?

― Very well. I will find out the truth myself and there's no way you can stop me.

Kitty gulped. If Akkarin is in her mind, he'll see her memories. And her memories included memories of her naked in front of a mirror and her mom's naked body. Not to mention, the truth about how they defeated the Ichanis.

Miyuki starting recalling memories full of nonsense. Like the time she pushed her teacher's head into the toilet bowl. And the time when she was trying to access an e-learning website, porn advertisement popped out. And the monthly woman thing. And once, when they tried to make a chicken cross the road.

Kitty began thinking of weird things. "Zuo Lang Kiang tio hor, Mai gei kiang (being clever is enough, don't act smart). I am going to create a flag for Kyralia and I'll put Fergun's face on the flag. After that, I'll draw beard and moustache on the flag. Hey, it wasn't us! We didn't see anything. Really. It's... Erm... Someone told us they saw you performing that ritual. She's... Trudi Canavan. Yeah, Trudi Canavan told us she saw you doing that."

― Where can I find her? How did she know I perform black magic?

― How do I know? You ask me, I ask who? You go Australia find her or go .com.

Akkarin's head was throbbing, so he left their mind. Before Akkarin could recover, Miyuki kicked his balls.

"So, Ah Curry..." Kitty smirked. "You practice black magic, huh?"

"Naughty Ah Curry..." Miyuki wagged her finger.

Akkarin warned. "You... The two of you, if you dare to tell anyone about this, I'll get rid of you."

"Take care of your own safety first, Ah Curry! If you provoke us, we'll tell the whole guild your secret. And we... We defeated the Ichanis, so don't... Don't think you can win us!"

"What do you want?" Akkarin asked desperately.

"Easy. Let Da Niu and Rotten be our guardian."

Miyuki added. "In a few days, it'll be the Acceptance Ceremony. You must agree to our next request. We will be..."

Before Akkarin could say no, they swaggered out of his residence.

****************************  
>It is the Acceptance Ceremony.<p>

Regin: (to Sonea) Hey slum girl! Looks like you have two friends.

Miyuki: Who are you calling slum, little boy! Don't bully Sonea and pick on someone the size of your own pea-like balls!

Regin: You... Do you know who I am? I am Regin of House Paren and Family Winar.

Kitty: (laughing) Best joke ever! HAHAHAHAHA! Virgin of House Perish and Family Grandma! House Paren has perished because your Grandma is a Virgin!

Miyuki: Eh, Virgin, so what if you have a house? In my house, we have light bulbs, washing machine and cooking stove. You caveman people have candles, wash clothes with your own hands, and collect wood for cooking. We have coca-cola while you have hoha-hooha (monkey noises)

Regin: The two of you... Uncivilized dwells!

Kitty: Oh puhlease... I live a life of luxury back at home. Your living condition here is nothing compared to ours!

Jerrick: Spring intakes, please form a line. Parents, this way please.

Kitty: Sonea, stand in front and show them your da boss!

Sonea: Erm, I think I'll just stand at the back.

Jerrick: Welcome, all, to the Magician's Guild. I am Director Jerrick...

Miyuki: OMG! Director Jelly? Oi, Jelly, can I eat you?

Parents: Goodness me! Those arrogant and gross slums...

Jerrick: (ignore them) Ahem. Today, you shall take your first step into the Magician's Guild...

Kitty: What nonsense? I have already taken so many steps. You blind or you fail maths?

Jerrick: As a novice, you will be required to obey the rules of the University...

Miyuki: Woohoooo! I'm being admitted into Cambridge University!

Jerrick: To join the Guild, you must make a vow...

Kitty & Miyuki: (barking) Vow-wow!

Jerrick: ... And that vow has four parts. Firstly, you must vow...

K & M: Vow-wow!

Jerrick: ... Never to harm another man or woman...

Miyuki: Regin is a boy, not a man or woman. Hey Virgin!

(Miyuki gave Regin and black and blue eye.)

Jerrick: ... Unless in the defence of the Allied Lands. This included people of any class, station...

K & M: Station? Train station?

Jerrick: ... Criminal status or age. All vendettas, whether personally or politically motivated, end here today…

Kitty: Ventilators must end here today? That means there are no ventilators in the Gill?

Jerrick: Secondly, you must vow...

K & M: Vow-wow!

Jerrick: (glared at them) Kitty and Miyuki. I'm giving you one last chance.

Miyuki: One last chance for what? To make a better joke?

Jerrick: Thirdly, you must vow to obey the orders of any magician unless those orders involve breaking a law. That said, we treat this with some flexibility. But do not presume to decide yourself when and how flexible we should be...

Kitty: Jelly, how flexible are you?

Jerrick: Me? Usually, I will not ask novices to do anything against their free will unless...

Miyuki: We don't mean that. What we meant is how FLEXIBLE are you? Like, can you do yoga? Or splits, or put your leg on your head?

(Jerrick continued and Kitty and Miyuki continued making fun of his words)

Jerrick: (begins calling the names of intakes) Regin of House...

K & M: PERISH. FAMILY WINAR!

Jerrick: One more word from the two of you and...

Miyuki: Ah Curry arh! Why are you so powerful in magic? Why are your robes black? Is it because...?

Akkarin: (panicked) Jerrick, let them be.

Jerrick: Yes, High Lord. (Continue calling names) Sonea.

(Sonea came onto the stage)

Miyuki: Why doesn't she have a house or family? I don't care! Address her as Sonea of House Delvon and Family Valen!

(Sonea looked even more nervous than she already was)

Akkarin: Miyuki! WHAT DOES MY HOUSE AND FAMILY GOT TO DO WITH...

Kitty: Ahh... Magic... White magic and black...

Akkarin: Fine.

(A lot if magicians have a disgusted look on their face and the parents were appalled)

Jerrick: Any magicians wish to claim the guardianship of any of the intakes?

Garrel: I have made a decision, Director. I wish to claim the guardianship of Regin.

Dannyl: I have made a decision, Director. I wish to claim the guardianship of Kitty.

Rothen: I have made a decision, Director. I wish to claim the guardianship of Miyuki.

Fergun: I have made a decision, Director. I wish to claim the guardianship of Sonea.

(Silence)

Jerrick: Any more claims? If not...

Miyuki: I HAVE MADE A DECISION!

Jerrick: Miyuki, novices are not allowed to...

K & M: WE WISH TO CLAIM THE GUARDIANSHIP OF HIGH LORD AH CURRY!

**A side note: What will Akkarin's reaction be? Will this whole Acceptance ceremony go wrong? And since Miyuki and Kitty are now officially novices of the Guild, they would have even more chance to turn the Guild upside down especially during lessons! Will they think out of more crazy pranks? Well, dear readers, look forward to Chapter 8 **


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8: Disgracing the Guild!**

**In Chapter 7, Miyuki and Kitty attended the Acceptance Ceremony in the Guild, signifying their first step into the Magicians' Guild as novices. But given their prankish nature, they ruined the Acceptance Ceremony by changing the vow and interrupting Director Jerrick when he spoke. In the end they topped it all off by claiming the guardianship of High Lord Akkarin! How would the Guild react to this? Will Miyuki and Kitty be successful in claiming Akkarin's guardianship? What other pranks would they think out of? Read on to find out! Wait, prepare a box of tissues first, because you may laugh till you cry!**

"I..." The High Lord opened his mouth to speak but he hesitated and closed his mouth again, his expression uncertain.

"Hurry up lah, Ah Curry! What are you hesitating? He who hesitates is at a losing end." Kitty urged him impatiently. Whereas Miyuki began chanting, "I wonder if our most respected High Lord knows what the colour black means..."

"But..." Akkarin stuttered. "This is too extreme. I cannot agree to this."

Rothen and Dannyl stared at their new novices in utmost horror, wondering what had they gotten themselves into. In fact, everyone in the Guildhall had no idea what Kyralia had turned into.

"Oi, Curry!" Miyuki shouted and Kitty joined her in singing, "One little, two little, three little black robes, four little, five little, six little black robes..."

There were many different reactions.

"Has the Guild gone bonkers?"  
>"WHAT? Two low novices claiming guardianship of the High Lord?"<br>"Is this still the Magicians' Guild?"  
>"The slum dwellers would laugh at us if they know about this..."<br>"The King would not approve of this..."  
>"We must expel them immediately for showing disrespect to the High Lord!"<br>"This will definitely be recorded in Kyralia's history records."  
>"Isn't that the two girls who called me the High Lord's husband? Yes, they are getting what they deserve."<p>

But two small, simple words from Akkarin silenced everyone.

"I accept."

Immediately there was chaos spreading like wild fire. Heated discussions and chattering were heard emanating throughout the whole Guildhall. Lady Vinara started knocking her head against the wall and Lord Balkan began pounding his chest like a hyper Tarzan. Director Jerrick was pulling his hair madly until most of them dropped off and there was a big pile of hair on the floor. And then...

"BANG!"

All heads spun towards the source of the noise. The Head of Alchemy, Lord Sarrin, had collapsed and fallen off his chair. There were horrified shrieks from everyone as blood began flowing profusely down his pale face.

Lady Vinara stopped banging her head and hurriedly made her way to the unconscious Lord Sarrin in distress. The commotion in the Guildhall grew more and more intense. Kitty and Miyuki strolled towards Akkarin.

"Get your ass off your chair, Ah Curry." Miyuki ordered. When Akkarin refused, she smacked Akkarin's butt just like how a mother would punish a child. Akkarin's eyes widened in aghast but Kitty raised her voice then, "Hmm... I wonder what the High Lord use his dagger for..." With that, Akkarin quickly got up of the chair just when Miyuki was going to smack his butt again.

Miyuki and Kitty sat on the chair like a boss. "Ah Curry, kneel down to us and kowtow!" Kitty commanded. Akkarin did so and all the while, the whole Guild was eyeing him, appalled. His black robes swayed about as he did the ritual over and over again.

"Ah Curry! I hereby take over your guardianship. Your ugly face and drinking habit is my concern."

"Yes." He muttered. "I will obey you, Lady Miyuki and Lady Kitty."

The two girls let out a scoff of disdain and turned away from him.

"Can...can I stand up now?" He questioned. Somehow he resembled a timid mouse.

Miyuki and Kitty ignored him and instead focussed their attention back to Jerrick. Jerrick was striking a gong to remind everyone to get back to their seats.

"Gong...gong...gong..." Miyuki and Kitty mimicked the gong sound, their lips widening to form a mischievous smile. "Should we return back to our seats and continue to watch this wonderful drama show? It's even better than Twilight." Kitty suggested. Miyuki nodded eagerly.

Once everyone had settled back to their seats, Jerrick continued on uneasily, "Is...is...there...a...any...opposition as to Miyuki and Kitty claiming guardianship of H...High...L...Lord...Akk...Akkarin? If there is, please prove so by your globelights."

Globelights floated up from the magicians' palms and rose to the ceiling of the Guildhall. There were exclamations of awe from the parents and novices.

"Chey globelight only! My torchlight brighter ah!" Kitty took out her torchlight and started flashing the light into everyone's eyes.

All the globelights turned red.

Miyuki was about to shout out a "Red! Red for danger! Red for live wire in an electric circuit!" in fear when another gong was heard.

"Bow to King Merin!"

All magicians got up and knelt down on one knee, showing their utmost respect to the cloaked figure who had just arrived.

"Why are they all proposing to this whatever King? He is so ugly!" Miyuki commented, ending her remark off with a sneer of disgust.

"Miyuki and Kitty, kneel down to the King of Kyralia, King Merin," Jerrick instructed in a stern voice. He himself was kneeling down. Even the High Lord was kneeling down.

Kitty let out a gasp of surprise, "What? Really need to kneel down to the KING! Wow, this is really the caveman era! In our country, we don't even kneel down to our President!"

By then, the whole Guild's gaze were fixed on them and not the King instead. Miyuki and Kitty noted their shocked expressions and the respectful, wary look they gave the King just now. Anyone could easily infer how much they respect the King. Well, the more respect a person should be given, the less respect Miyuki and Kitty would give them!

Miyuki started to sing the "Spongebob Square Pants" song and Kitty happily joined in. They replaced the words "Spongebob Square Pants" to "King Merin".

"Are ya ready, magicians?"

"Aye, captain!" Kitty replied.

"I can't hear you..."

"AYE CAPTAIN!"

"Ohhhhhhhhh"

"Who lives in a pineapple deep under the sea?"

"KI-NG ME-RIN!"

As they sang, they could hear horrified remarks coming from all around the Guildhall. The more remarks they heard, the louder they sing.

"THIS IS ENOUGH! BOW TO THE KING NOW OR ELSE!"

Jerrick's threaten was full of authority but of course, Miyuki and Kitty were not deterred.

"Enough of what? We haven't harassed you enough yet. You jealous of our beautiful voices?" Miyuki snapped back while Kitty spun to the King and made funny faces at the King.

The King's expression resembled nothing but fury. He clenched his fists tightly and roared out an "Ignorant fools" at the two girls. Everyone in the Guildhall became silent at the King's sudden outburst.

Miyuki strolled towards the King now while speaking to him in mocking tone, "Why should we bow to King Mermaid? He is just a mermaid! Mermaid, where is your tail? Show us and we would bow to you." Kitty let out a sharp squeal of laughter and chimed in, "Mermaid, I want to see your coral collection under the sea! Oh did you leave your panties under the sea? I think I saw you left them there."

"Where is your queen, Mermaid?" Miyuki asked. "Did she choke on your hairy legs during her sleep, so she died?"

The while Guildhall was so silent you could even hear a pin drop. King Merin cleared his throat to break the ice and then tried to speak calmly, "Erm...so what had happened that had alerted me? Please make this quick, I still got a lot of Palace matters to deal with." His voice was still trembling even though he tried to make his voice sound steady.

Miyuki's trademark laughter seemed to pierce through the whole Guildhall. "What matters? Going to find a whore today, Mermaid? Regin the Virgin would love to be your whore. The Guild can present you a virgin for free. Not because you're a king. But because you look like a beggar so we decided not to charge you any money."

Jerrick let out an exasperated sigh and quickly jutted in just when the King was about to erupt into fury. "These two novices you had been talking to just now attempted to claim the guardianship of High Lord Akkarin." Murmurs accompanied Jerrick's explanation.

"THIS IS ATROCIOUS!"

A messager besides the King caught him before he could fall off his chair. Meanwhile, Miyuki and Kitty continues to throw jeerful remarks at the King.

The King bit his lip and ignoring them, he spun to Akkarin.

"Is Jerrick's claim true, High Lord?"

"Yes, King Merin."

"...And you allow these two pesky novices to claim guardianship of YOU?"

"Yes, King Merin."

The King shook his head in disbelief before announcing, "I would not allow this to happen. Think about the consequences. Imagine all the novices claiming guardianship of the magicians and Higher Magicians. You might as well let the novices become the King!"

Kitty immediately nodded in excitement at the King's last sentence and cheered, "I don't mind replacing the mermaid and become the King of Kickapoo! YES, MAKE ME THE KING!"

"THIS IS ENOUGH! SHOWING DISRESPECT TO ME MEANS YOU GET EXECUTED!" The King could not take it anymore and roared at the two mischievous girls agitatedly.

The word "executed" successfully silenced Miyuki and Kitty.

The King glanced at Akkarin again in disgust as he repeated, "I do not approve to this. This is my final decision and that's it." The firm voice reminded Miyuki and Kitty that he would never change his mind.

They felt extremely disappointed when Jerrick concluded the novice spring intake with the sentence, "Miyuki and Kitty would remain as novices." As the occupants of the Hall filed out, Miyuki and Kitty could still hear their buzz of voices. Apparently, they were still discussing the "novice become High Lord's guardian" thing.

"Well, although we did not become Ah Curry's guardian, at least we ruined the Ceremony." Miyuki tried to comfort Kitty. Kitty shrugged and stated down at the robes they were given earlier on and voiced out disapprovingly, "Yeah, but here comes the main problem. We had to wear these horrible, shity robes."

Miyuki gazed down at her own robes and grimaced. "Just one look and you could tell these robes are of low quality," She commented truthfully. With that, she flung her robes on the ground.

Kitty was surprised and amazed at Miyuki's actions. After a few seconds of pondering, she too threw her robes down to the ground and mumbled in realisation, "Actually, who would want to wear those low quality robes?"

Miyuki bended down and tugged at her robes to confirm her suspicion that these robes were made of cheap material. Sure enough, just one light tug and there was already a tear at the sleeve. She smirked and stepped on the bundle of brown material on the ground before turning to Kitty, "Come, Kitty. Let's go to the slums and be karang guni again. I am sure we could find better clothes than this."

Kitty grinned and triumphantly, they strided out of the Guild gates.

Miyuki and Kitty got lost uncountable times before they finally arrived at the slums of Kyralia. The slums were as usual in its rundown state.

"Let's wear some really dirty and torn slum clothes to disgrace the Guild," Miyuki suggested cunningly. Kitty cried out an eager "All right" and clapped. She groaned in pain as her fist hurt again. She had injured her fist after punching the guard at the Guild Gates. The guard had not allowed them to leave and she had smacked his face and deemed him unconscious.

They sang the "ABC song" together cheerfully as they strolled down the streets. Their loud voices attracted a lot of slum dwellers' attention.

"A for Akkarin, B for Balkan, C for Cery, D for... Dumbo?" they sang.

Kitty questioned Miyuki then, "So all we need is to wear dirty and torn clothes? But where and how?" Miyuki smiled gleefully and pointed at a middle-aged lady who was hanging out some clothes on a string outside her ramshackle wooden house. "This is the target," She decided.

Without waiting for Kitty's reaction, Miyuki pranced towards the lady excitedly and gestured towards a set of tattered and worn shirt and skirt hanging there before requesting, "Auntie ah, can give me those?"

The lady's eyes widened and her brows creased in confusion. Miyuki added on in a sincere voice, "If you give me those, I will give you a hundred gold. I collect antiques and just one look at that shirt and skirt and I know it is of superior quality."

Now the lady's expression was nothing but surprised. Her eyes brimmed with greediness when Miyuki mentioned "a hundred gold". "How do I know that you are speaking the truth?" The lady asked skeptically after a few minutes of thinking.

Miyuki put on the most innocent look on her face that would fool anyone on Earth (or Kyralia). She made a vow, "If I cheat you, the whole Magicians' Guild will collapse on High Lord Ah Curry!"

Her idea worked! Much to Miyuki and Kitty's surprise, the lady took the shirt and skirt down and handed them to Miyuki. Miyuki quickly accepted them and then digged out some pebbles from her pocket and threw it at the lady. The lady let out a yelp of shock when she realised she had been tricked but before she could do anything, Miyuki gave Kitty a signal to run and the two girls darted away towards the opposite direction away from the lady.

"LIAR! MAY THE MAGICIANS' GUILD CRUSH DOWN ON THE TWO OF YOU!" They heard the lady screaming at them from behind.

Miyuki shouted back a "fool" and once they were safety far away from the lady, Miyuki hid behind a massive tree and changed into the clothes.

"Then what about me?" Kitty cried out when she noticed that Miyuki was already donned in the slum clothes.

Miyuki snorted and replied, "Think out your own clever idea like me, Kitty."

Kitty sighed and scanned her surroundings for possible targets. She was lucky.

A teenage boy was lying on a bench a few paces away, asleep. He was wearing a set of ragged and shabby shirt and trousers.

She made her way towards the boy sneakily in light footsteps. Once he confirmed that the boy was still in his slumber, Kitty removed his clothes and wore them quickly.

"It is done!" She whooped as she hurried back to Miyuki in her "brand new" clothes.

Miyuki's eyes lit up at that and suddenly remembered, "Oh yah, this reminds me of Ah Curry. Did you bring my robes?"

Kitty laughed and joined in. "The fart have weakened me. I need your strength. Remember the Cery guy? His gang fart in front of the magicians to piss them off."

Then she dug her hands into her pocket once again as if to search for something.

As Kitty stared at her in bewilderment, Miyuki's probing hands revealed two golden Guild incals.

Kitty was taken aback and gasped out in awe, "Wow Miyuki, where did you get those from?" A cheeky smile spread across Miyuki's face as she replied, "I cut them off Ah Curry's robes when we were in his ugly residence." Then she took out a bottle of glue and pasted the incal on her slum clothes before handing the other incal and glue to Kitty. Kitty nodded and burst into laughter. She understood now and after mimicking Miyuki's actions, they danced down the streets in thrill.

"We are from the Magicians' Guild! We are from House Abracadabra and Family Hey Presto! And we don't have enough food to eat! Please spare us some food. A crumb or a scrap of rice would be appreciated!" They chimed together as they wobbled down the streets while forcing tears out of their eyes.

Sure enough, their actions arose a huge commotion in the slums. They overheard some slum dwellers' remarks.

"They are from the Magicians' Guild? Oh yes, look at those incals. Wow, no food indeed. Now I finally know the Guild's true colours."

"I knew it. The Magicians' Guild simply use their novices as slaves or simply said, a tool for them to increase their strength."

"Who is the person in charge of the Guild? Look at those pitiful girls-they must have been forced to go to the Guild. The leader of the Guild deserves to be thrown into the Tarali River."

"So the Magicians' Guild changed their uniforms? I don't see the magicians wearing those during the Purge last year."

"I hate the Magicians' Guild. I hope they will really be low on funds and close down. Then no more Magicians' Guilt!"

"Disgusting Guild. To think they are worse off than us."

It was extremely difficult not to laugh after hearing all those remarks and Miyuki and Kitty had to cover their mouths so that the people would not notice their triumphant smiles.

And it was at this moment when they heard a furious deep roar.

"MAGICIANS EH? THEY CHASED MY FAMILY OUT INTO THE SLUMS AND I HAVEN'T GOTTEN MY REVENGE YET!"

Then without warning, stones began sailing through the air towards the startled Miyuki and Kitty.

"What is happening?" Miyuki gulped, her face pale as she tried to dodge the incoming stones.

Kitty pointed a trembling finger at a few young slum boys. They were the ones throwing the stones at them and their expressions were dark and menacing.

"It is no point flunging the stones at them. Those stupid magicians would just create a shield to protect themselves from the stones." One of the boys told his companions dryly.

What? A shield? Kitty and Miyuki were intrigued.

"What shield? You mean the heavy metal thing soldiers use during war ah? Or is it MediShield? MediShield is a healthcare thing, I think. I learn that in social studies. Or is it the Shield that protects our computer from virus?" Kitty mumbled in confusion as she lowered her head to duck from another stone.

Miyuki screamed helplessly, "CAN BUY SHIELD FROM SLUM SHOP HERE OR NOT?" Kitty opened her mouth to reply but whined in pain when a stone hit her forehead. She clasped a hand to her forehead to stop the bleeding.

"Oh no Kitty!" Miyuki dashed to Kitty to tend to her and it was at this time when another stone struck Miyuki's arm. She grumbled and cursed as blood trickled down the cut.

As more stones came launching towards them, Miyuki and Kitty thought they were doomed for sure. If they die in Kickapoo...

The stones seemed to encounter an invisible wall. They rebounded off onto the ground harmlessly. Miyuki and Kitty stood rooted to the ground, stunned and frozen in fear. Their attackers' eyes widened at something behind the two girls and then the boys darted off.

Miyuki and Kitty gingerly turned back, puzzled and in a daze. They panicked upon spotting Lord Rothen and Lord Dannyl behind them.

Miyuki instinctively cried out, "Why are you here, Rotten and Da Niu? Being kaypohs (busybody) ah?"

Rothen narrowed his eyes at Miyuki and spoke up, "If it wasn't for us, you and Kitty would be severely injured by now." A suspicious look crossed his face as he added on, "So much for those praises High Lord Akkarin gave you all..."

Dannyl jutted in then, his gaze fixed on Miyuki and Kitty's ragged clothes. "...And why are the two of you wearing those clothes? Why aren't you wearing your robes? An why did the two of you sneak out without me or Rothen's permission? If the two of us hadn't followed..."

Miyuki interrupted in rudely, "You stalker! I would charge you for harassment! I bet you stalk my Facebook and Tumblr! I will block you from all the social websites!" Kitty added on then while pointing at the golden Guild incal, "Look, we did have our incals on. Why is it a diamond with a Y dividing it? Why can't it be an S or M dividing it?"

Rothen staggered back as if he was about to faint. Dannyl held him quickly to stable him before clearing his throat and explaining, "Miyuki and Kitty, it is supposed to be lesson time for novices now."

Miyuki and Kitty immediately turned to each other at the mention of the word "lesson". Both of their eyes were gleaming cunningly. Of course Miyuki and Kitty knew that lessons are just going to be so fun later on...

**A side note: Thanks for the constant support you readers give! We really appreciate those reviews. Oh yes, so in the next chapter, Miyuki and Kitty are going to start lessons in the Guild as novices. Will the solemn lessons in the Guild turn into a circus act because of them? And oh yah, here is a little spoiler. The next chapter is officially the start of Regin pranking time! Regin is going to be so dead! And good news for those Akkarin fan girls because Akkarin would be spared from all those pranks! The target now, as you all know, is officially Regin The Virgin!  
><strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Anti Regin Movement  
><strong>  
><strong>In Chapter 8, Miyuki and Kitty insulted the King of Kyralia, King Merin during the novice spring intake, making the King nearly blow his top. The King was even more furious with them after hearing that they wished to claim the guardianship of the High Lord. Of course he disapproved of it and Miyuki and Kitty disgraced the Guild further by parading down the streets in slum clothes with a Guild incal. <strong>

Everyone was staring at them when they entered the class. They were all forced to wear the horribly ugly robes. Miyuki and Kitty ignored them and went to sit on the best chair.

"Who would be conducting our first lesson?" Miyuki queried Kitty.

"I heard it is a magician called Lord Elben," Kitty replied. Miyuki laughed as she thought out of the perfect nickname to give Lord Elben.

Lord Elben came in and barked, "Miyuki! Kitty! Get off the teacher's chair!"

"Why should we, ELBERT EINSTEIN!"

Director Jerrick came in and glared at them. Miyuki couldn't help but count the strands of hair sticking out of his nose and ears. His head was bald except for the sides, having pulled out most of his hair yesterday.

"Miyuki and Kitty. Stand at the back of the class now unless you want us to resort to the punishment we use for really rebellious students."

Kitty remembered Ah Curry's magic strike, whatever it was. So, for once, they obeyed.

Jerrick: Congratulations. I offer this congratulation not because all of you are gifted with magic talent, but because...

Miyuki: Because you and Ah Curry are getting married! Congratulations! Remember not to invite Rotten to your wedding, or all your food will go rotten!

Jerrick: (breathing hard) Anyway. Do you all know what the most important aspect of magic is?

Regin: Strength, my lord!

Kitty: Hahaha! Strength? You think you're superman or Spiderman? Jelly, stop breathing like that. You sound like you're having sex!

Sonea: Control, my lord.

Miyuki: HAHAHAHOHOHOHEHEHE! Control? Control what? Sexual desires and wanton needs?

Jerrick: (stopped breathing hard and clenched his fist tightly) The answer is knowledge. Without knowledge, magicians cannot...

Kitty and Miyuki: Pull a rabbit out of their hat!

(Jerrick resorted to zipping their mouth with magic)

Jerrick: Some of you have come a long way here and may not return home for another 5 years.

Miyuki: (thinking) Yeah... We came from another dimension.

Jerrick: May the following years be prosperous.

Kitty: (thinking) Prosperous? Are we going to win the lottery or something?

Elben: Everyone, please proceed to the classroom next door. Except Sonea, Miyuki and Kitty who have mastered Control. Now, I want the three of you to light up this candle.

Kitty and Miyuki panicked. What? Light up a candle? There's no way...

"My lord." Sonea said. "I have lighted the candle." Kitty and Miyuki stared in awe at her candle, which was shimmering brightly.

"Very good." Elben said. "Miyuki and Kitty?"

They opened and closed their mouth but no words came out. Elben stared at them impatiently.

"ELBERT EINSTEIN! LOOK! BALKAN IS DOING POLE DANCING!"

Elben turned around in shock. "Where?"

Kitty quickly took out a matchstick and lighted both herself and Miyuki's candle. "Lord Elben, we have lighted the candle." She alerted him when she was done.

"Hmmm... Very good." Lord Elben praised.

**********

The Foodhall, huh? What a low class place.

Miyuki yawned as Sonea told her classmates about her days in the slums. That's nothing. She bet if she and Kitty were to live in the slums, there's no need for the purge because all the slums dwellers would be chased away by them.

"Hey, Sonea, look what I've saved for you!" Regin came in with a plate of bread scraps and brown sauce.

"That's very nice of you, Regin." Sonea said sarcastically.

"I'm curious about one thing, though. Where did you get it from?" Kitty butt in. "Virgin, I didn't know you're a beggar too. How nice of you, indeed, to beg those food just for Sonea. Too bad Sonea is more dignified than you, so she won't eat something like that."

"You..."

Miyuki whispered something to Kitty, so they did not hear Regin as he complained like a baby.

"Okay! You know what to do right?" Miyuki asked Kitty. Kitty nodded eagerly and dashed to the toilet.

"Oh look, everyone!" Miyuki pointed to the ceilings. "Isn't that Lady Vinara doing the chicken dance?"

Everyone looked up. Miyuki took the chemical from her bag and sprinkled it into their food. Except nice people's, like Sonea.

"Are you blind? There's nothing... What are you doing?" Regin yelled.

Miyuki felt her heart skipping a beat. "Erm... This... This is... Vitamin A. I'm adding Vitamin A, it'll make you very handsome."

The stupid novices gobbled up their food greedily, some even asked for more. Miyuki wanted to punch all of those fools.

Her anger did not last long. Because one by one, the novices started excusing themselves to the toilet, clutching their stomachs in pain. Regin, who ate the most, even cried in pain.

Miyuki smiled as she waited. 1, 2, 3...

"HELP!" a novice screamed.

Some of the magicians in the Foodhall stood and rushed to the novice.

Lord Garrel asked worriedly, "What's wrong?"

"Uncle... I mean, Lord Garrel!" Regin came rushing in. "Someone sealed up the toilet! And... I need to... In fact, all the novices are having a bad stomachache!"

Lord Garrel looked at the novices. "What did all of you eat? Why are Sonea and Miyuki and Kitty unaffected?"

A light bulb seemed to flash in Regin's head. "It must be...!"

"Yes!" Miyuki said. "It must be the gods above who are punishing you naughty novices. The gods don't punish good people."

She added on, "Virgin, now I know why your whole House perished. Everyone did really bad stuff and had this stomachache problem right?"

Kitty came back from the toilet, a triumph smile on her face.

***********  
>"Wow! This is an awesome BEACH!"<p>

Miyuki and Kitty sat down and began building sandcastles. Everyone else in the Arena stared at them like they were crazy. Some of the novices went to their rooms after the food poisoning incident while most were good enough to resume classes after being healed.

Regin laughed mockingly. "Look at them! How childish... OW! Ahhh..."

Kitty kicked sand at Regin till his mouth was too full of sand to talk. Lord Yikmo called everyone to assemble in the Arena.

"For this lesson," Yikmo said. "You'll learn how to use strikes. I'll pair you up and you'll compete with each other. Regin and Miyuki, you'll be the first pair to fight each other."

Miyuki daydreamed while Yikmo explained about shields and strikes. Seriously, what shields? Eldershield? (Google Singapore eldershield). And what strikes? Go on a strike or something?

Miyuki muttered, "Urgh, I don't want to fight a sissy like Virgin. I bet SHE buys 100 life insurances."

"BEGIN!"

Miyuki snapped out of her daydream. Huh? Begin what? Oh, that's right! A fight!

Regin closed his eyes and concentrated on making a shield. Miyuki took the opportunity to attack him. Regin cried out loud in pain as his butt kissed the floor.

"Oh no, Virgin! You lost your virginity to the sand!" Miyuki shrieked out at the same time.

"HALT!" Yikmo yelled.

Regin growled. "That slum girl... How dare her! I'll tell my powerful House and Family what you did."

"Ha!" Miyuki snorted. "I bet your House and Family cannot even afford to buy a bottle of butt oilment for you! Your House and Family is nothing compared to mine. I'm from House Abracadabra and Family Hey Presto! Did you know how powerful..."

"Miyuki." Yikmo said. "You are supposed to attack magically, not running over to him and kick him in the stomach."

"If only I aimed a little lower..." Miyuki mumbled.

Yikmo made them fight again. But each time, Miyuki ended up K. Regin the street fighting way. In the end, Yikmo got so frustrated that he grabbed Miyuki's arms to prevent her from moving.

"Don't touch me, pervert!" she tried to push him away but he was too strong. "Goodness, why do you magicians like to touch people so much?"

As another battle begins, Miyuki could see Kitty's worried face. Nooooo... The truth about their magic would be exposed!

"KYAAAA!" Miyuki screamed and heard a glass breaking somewhere.

The pain stopped as she felt some strange but soothing energy through her body. She heard Yikmo's worried voice, "Why didn't you shield or attack?"

"I'm not as low-class as you magicians!" she shouted. "You bunch of lazy fools in robes. Even opening a door and picking up a piece of paper also need to use magic!"

Yikmo shook his head and helped Miyuki up. He frowned and gave her a curious look.

"Oi! Stop staring at me, Tikopek (perverted man)!" Miyuki punched his face and he let go of her.

"You..." he was shocked that a novice dared to assault him. "After your lessons are over, I want you to come to the Arena for extra lessons."

Regin laughed like a pig. Miyuki pointed a middle finger at him. "Don't be so happy yet, Virgin. You'll need to spend the rest of your day in the Healer's Quarter but I bet the Healers can't even heal your dirty mouth. And if you dare to complain, may lightning strike you!"

Yikmo coughed but it was obvious that he was trying to hide his laughters. He quickly straightened his back and continued teaching. When it came to Kitty's turn, she had the same problem as Miyuki so she was asked to come go the Arena for extra lessons.

Whatever, stupid Lord Yikmo, or Lord Emo, Miyuki thought.

*****  
>An Akkarin side joke:<p>

(in the Night Room)  
>Fergun: Yikmo, how is my novice Sonea doing?<p>

Yikmo: She refuses to strike!

Fergun: Why is that so?

Yikmo: She's too nice!

Rothen: (takes the chance to ask about his own novice) How are my novices Miyuki and Kitty doing?

Yikmo: Sigh. They wouldn't strike too.

Akkarin: (overheard the conversation) Oh? Is that so? Don't tell me that they are too nice.

Yikmo: No. They don't even know how to fight!

Akkarin left the Night Room in amusement and went to his residence to take a bath. As he stripped, he thought of an alchemy problem. Recently, there were problems with measurements and magicians have been arguing the correct measurement to use for the volume of an object.

The bath was full as Akkarin stepped in, so some water overflowed. Suddenly...

"EUREKA!"

Akkarin rushed out of his residence and in the Night Room, shouting, "Eureka! I found out how to measure volume!"

Then, he suddenly realise that in his excitement, he had forgotten to put on any clothes.

**A side note: Thank you for all your support, fellow readers! We love you all so much! And oh yes, we would like to thank our English teacher and vice-principal for editing and correcting our story too! Look out for Chapter 10 to discover a hilarious major secret about a certain Guild magician!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Saboed before he could sabo**

**In Chapter 9, Miyuki and Kitty began the anti-Regin movement. They did soooo many pranks to this big bully, ranging from punching him to adding chemicals in his food. Regin suffered so much, but of course we don't feel as sympathetic towards him as compared to other magicians! And let's not forget that Akkarin side joke! Oh yes readers, prepare for a major surprise (or should I say shock?) in this chapter! Once again just treat all this as a joke ok? We don't mean any harm towards any individual.**

"Yucks, the food in the Magicians' Guild is as stale as a fish gill!" Miyuki commented in disgust as she threw down her spoon and gave up eating the bowl of soup she was served.

Kitty nodded and reminisced, "Remember what happened in the Foodhall a few days ago, Miyuki? The food tasted even nicer then."

Miyuki squealed in laughter as she remembered their prank where they sealed up the toilet before they added chemicals into everyone's food and made everyone have a stomachache.

Kitty reached for the cup of liquid she was given and took a sip while mumbling, "Hopefully this will taste better." But...

She grimaced as she recognised the bitter taste. She spat out the liquid and shrieked in horror, "Why do the magicians like the sumo wrestler drink so much? I thought only Ah Curry wants to be a sumo wrestler?"

Miyuki smirked and threw down a "Too bad for drinking that" at Kitty before turning her attention back to Sonea. She was bewildered to find Sonea exceptionally quiet today.

"What's wrong, Sonea? I thought you were usually very chatty? Talk about your slum life again leh." Miyuki urged worriedly.

Sonea shook her head and Miyuki and Kitty were shocked to see her eyes glistening with tears.

"What's wrong, Sonea? Tell us about it. We are your friends and we would not tell anyone about it." Kitty urged with concern.

Sonea sobbed, "My guardian Lord Fergun did something bad to me..."

At once Miyuki let out a high-piercing scream, "Oh no, don't tell me that furry gun molested you?"

A look of annoyance crossed Sonea's face as she shook her head and continued on, helpless.

"I really don't know what to do. Lord Fergun, he, erm, blackmailed me."

Kitty misheard the word "blackmail" as "email".

"WHAT? What did furry gun email you? Pictures of him striping?"

Sonea sighed and explained, "It is blackmail. You see, Lord Fergun hates slum dwellers like me and he does not want any slum dwellers to be offered a place in the Guild. So he instructed me to go and steal the High Lord's wine and make everyone know about it. In this way, the whole Guild would think that all slum dwellers are low, pesky thieves and then I will be exiled, thus Lord Fergun would then achieve his aim..."

Kitty and Miyuki were horrified upon hearing that. "Then what if you refuse?" Miyuki stuttered.

Sonea clenched her fists and her body start to tremble then as she depicted, "He threatened to kill my aunt and uncle if I defy his orders."

Kitty was confused. "But how did furry gun know where your aunt and uncle live? Don't tell me you revealed their address on your Facebook? Sonea, you should never leak out any private information on Facebook..."

Sonea looked as if she was about to faint from Miyuki and Kitty's ignorance.

"Don't you all know about reading minds? He read my mind and found out about it." She replied.

Miyuki and Kitty both turned to eye each other, appalled. The two of them were now very outraged at Fergun for blackmailing their best friend.

"DON'T WORRY SONEA! WE WILL HELP YOH TAKE REVENGE AND PREVENT FERGUN FROM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU!" Miyuki roared and declared. Kitty nodded firmly and agreed.

"But..." Sonea was uncertain.

The gong signaling the end of midbreak rang at that moment.

"Oh, that stupid gong again." Kitty mumbled and without waiting for Sonea to reply, she pulled Miyuki towards the direction of the classrooms before she bade a hasty farewell to Sonea and ended off with a determined "We will help you no matter what!"

*********  
>"Ah, there he is. Heading towards the Baths." Miyuki whispered into Kitty's ear as the two of them continued to tail Fergun sneakily. They hope that by tailing Fergun, they would be able to know more about his habits and then it would be easier for them to take revenge and sabo him.<p>

Fergun was walking delicately in a sissy way, just like how those princesses walk. It is really hilarious and really hard for Miyuki and Kitty to try not to laugh.

Without bothering to greet the other magicians, they watched closely as Fergun stepped into one of the Baths. It was at this moment when Miyuki had one of her crazy ideas.

"Let's peep at that Furry Gun in the baths. Hopefully he will have a heart attack after realising that we had seen him naked and then he would die from shock."

Kitty's eyes brightened and nodding eagerly, she quickened her paces. Miyuki followed suit behind her.

Fergun chose the Bath at the centre. Good, Miyuki thought.

Once they were in front of the Baths, the two girls were delighted to find the cubicle beside Fergun to be unoccupied. Hurriedly, they made their way into that cubicle and climbed onto the bathtub before peeping over to look...

Fergun had already removed his robes. Miyuki and Kitty were puzzled to notice a binding at his chest.

"What's that?" Kitty questioned Miyuki in a hushed tone. Miyuki shrugged. She also don't know what that thing was.

Slowly but in an experienced movement, Fergun removed the binding stealthily. As the binding fluttered lightly to the ground, Miyuki and Kitty spotted Fergun's revealed chest and how they screamed!

Because at his chest area, two big, round boobs protruded out.

The truth was hard to deny.

Fergun is a girl.

"!" Miyuki and Kitty were horrified and shocked and screamed the loudest scream they had ever screamed!

Fergun heard their screams and he looked up in surprise. How his face turned white like a ghost when he realised that Miyuki and Kitty had discovered his secret!

His sissy scream joined in Miyuki and Kitty's screams and in a flash, he redressed and speeded out of the Bath, his legs trembling.

It took a long time for Miyuki and Kitty to regain their senses and calm down.

But that bit of a scare was worth it, because they now finally had an idea how to sabo FERGIRL THE FEMALE WARRIOR.

*********  
>"Rotten said to find Administrator... Lorlen if you want a Hearing to be held in the Guild?" Kitty confirmed with Miyuki.<p>

Miyuki teased Lorlen's name, "Yup, you had to go find the Administrator Lorry."

Laughing playfully, they headed to the Administrator's office.

Lorlen's eyes widened in surprise when Miyuki and Kitty requested him to hold a Hearing in the Magicians' Guild tomorrow.

"Lorry ah, why is it called Hearing? Do some of the magicians have hearing problems?" Miyuki asked in a pretended confused tone.

Lorlen ignored her and mumbled, "I will never allow two novices to hold a Hearing and waste everyone's time, despite how important the two of you claim the matter is."

Kitty heard that and leaned forward to Lorlen with a meaningful, threatening look on her face, "Remember what happened to the High Lord last time? You want the same thing to happen to your robes, Lorlen?"

Their plan worked.

Lorlen turned pale and he replied in a fearful tone, "Alright. A Hearing would be held in the Guild tomorrow."

*********  
>It must be the first time a Hearing was held just for two novices, Miyuki and Kitty assumed after noticing all the weird looks the magicians tossed at them in the Guildhall. They can't help but wonder what the magicians' reaction would be upon knowing Fergun's secret.<p>

Lorlen struck a gong for silence before continuing, "We had called upon this Hearing today because two novices claimed to have something important to inform the Guild about."

Immediately there were murmurs throughout the whole Guildhall. Miyuki and Kitty scanned the magicians sitting around for familiar faces.

Their guardians, Lord Rothen and Lord Dannyl had this desperate expression on their faces that was like, "Please! Don't stir up anymore trouble already!" High Lord Akkarin was staring at Miyuki and Kitty with a terrified expression. He must have thought they were going to reveal his black magic secret.

Miyuki and Kitty ignored them and searched for their most important target.

Lord Fergun was sitted at an isolated corner, his body trembling and his hands clutching his cheeks tightly perhaps due to worry.

"Now be serious and tell us what that important matter is. If this is any sort of childish prank, the Guild would not be as forgiving towards you," Lorlen warned.

"The Guild would not be as for giving towards us? Giving what? Christmas present?"

Miyuki and Kitty turned to each other and played "Scissors Paper Stone", paying no attention to the odd look everyone was giving them. They bet the magicians haven't seen a scissors before.

Kitty lost, so she had to be the one speaking.

Pointing at Fergun with a determined finger, she threw down loudly, "Lord... I mean Lady Fergun is a GIRL!"

Sharp intakes of breaths were heard from almost all the magicians. All of them spun to Fergun at once, shocked. He looked away, blushing.

High Lord Akkarin shook his head, thinking that it was yet another stupid prank of theirs. Rothen and Dannyl looked ready to dragged Miyuki and Kitty down from the stage.

Lorlen stuttered back with his mouth wide open (Miyuki felt like popping a toad into his mouth) and when he finally managed to regain his composure, he cleared his throat and explained, "The law of accusing someone in the Guild states that the accuser will need to submit to a truth read."

Kitty was most bewildered and cried out in aghast, "What are you talking about? I only know the Law of Conservation of Energy! And Newton's Law!"

Lorlen was unperturbed.

"It is alright. I would truth read you and help you along."

With that, he instructed Kitty to close her eyes before he pressed his palms to Kitty's forehead...

-Visualise a room.

Kitty was startled when she sensed Lorlen's presence and voice at the edge of her mind. She visualized a toilet.

-Now open the door and let me in.

She decided to put a pail of water at the top of the door to drench Lorlen when he step in, Kitty opened the door and was surprised to see the blue-robed figure standing outside. He smiled friendly as he stepped in. But the smile faded as the pail of water fell on top of his head.

-Now create a picture and show me Fergun in it.

Kitty created a picture of Fergun fanning himself girlishly in a frame on the wall. She sensed nonchalance from Lorlen.

-Oh yes, he always acts like that, but no one really suspect if he is a girl. I mean, no girls would want to be warriors! Now show me the scene of how you found out that Fergun is a girl.

Kitty displayed to Lorlen everything- how Fergun had blackmailed Sonea, how she and Miyuki decided to help, how they climbed the toilet cubicle, how the two of them had seen Fergun remove the binding in the Baths, how Fergun's boobs had bounced out...

There was anger from Lorlen at the blackmail part but amusement from him when Kitty got to the Fergun boobs part.

- what, lorry? Don't tell me you want to caress Fergun's boobs?

- What? I'm simply amused that such a dignified warrior like him could turn out to be...

Kitty got distracted and accidentally plunk random thoughts such as how much she love teddy bears in. She was surprised to sense longing from Lorlen at the teddy bear part.

-I love teddy bears too.

- Are you another Fergun wannabe?

It was at that when Kitty felt the strangest feeling toward Lorlen. A feeling that could only be described as...love?

"Aaaaah! I cannot fall in love with a lorry! I rather love a trolley!" Kitty screamed before she could manage herself.

She opened her eyes then and was taken aback to realised that Lorlen had left her mind. The pressure on her forehead eased and she was now face to face with the whole Guildhall.

Lorlen hurriedly cleared his throat and announced calmly, "Kitty and Miyuki's claims about Fergun are true. He is... I mean she is a girl. Everyone knows Kyralia is not as accepting towards these compared to Elyne. The punishment to engaging in perverse practices would be expulsion..."

"What?" Miyuki and Kitty screamed. "Explosion?"

There was a sissy yelp from Fergun and he, i mean, she began to sob. Everyone watched, interested and disgusted, as girly tears rolled down his cheeks.

Kitty and Miyuki caught some magicians' discussions. There was one hilarious one where this female Healer wants to cut holes in Fergun's robes to prove their claims are true.

Lorlen raised his voice and continued, "If you wish Fergun would be expelled from the Guild, turn your globelights to red..."

Kitty and Miyuki turned their handphone flashlights to red in a second. They flashed the red flashlights about excitedly.

All the other globelights turned red too, much to Miyuki and Kitty's triumph. All except one.

Fergun's globelight.

"Fergun would be expelled from the Guild," Lorlen concluded the Hearing heavily.

"Wait!" Miyuki shouted.

All magicians turned towards her.

"Since we're here, we want to say something about Ah Curry's secret."

She looked at Akkarin. He trembled and shook his head fiercely.

"The truth is... High Lord Akkarin has knowledge of black..."

The whole Guild waited for her to finish her sentence.

"Black hair."

A sigh came for Akkarin. Kitty grinned at him, reminding him that he was still at their mercy.

Fergun began to wail in a sharp piercing voice but he was led away by a few Warriors before he could do anything rash.

As magicians left the Guildhall discussing the unexpected truth about Fergun enthusiastically, Miyuki dashed to Lorlen...

"Lorry ah, thank you. But you owe me 10 bucks!"

"What? What for, Miyuki?"

"I don't know... For fun?" Miyuki paused before adding on, "But I am still going to cut HOLES in your ROBES, Lorlen!"

Lorlen backed away in fear...

**A side note: Got a surprise (or shock) huh? Never expect Fergun to be a girl because he is a warrior? Well, you will see more and more such twists in our further chapters! **


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: Cut holes in...**

**Note to readers: Sorry for not updating for so many months. We have been quite busy lately so we did not have much time to update. But no matter what, we will continue writing this story! Don't worry; we will never give up on writing such an awesome story! **

**So… here is another hilarious chapter for you guys! Sit back, relax and enjoy!**

Lorlen stared at the two mischievous girls in shock. He simply could not believe that they could be so prankish till such an extent.

First Akkarin, then him? Can't they ever get enough of their "holes in the robes" prank?

He could only sigh in exasperation as he walked off, leaving Miyuki and Kitty laughing. He thought he could hear Kitty tell Miyuki a joke regarding Osen.

"Do you know what I told Osen when he accidentally knocked into a wall? I said 'THAT WAS AWESOME OSEN!' And that awesome Osen, you should have seen his expression!"

Lorlen shook his head and made a mental note to protect his robes with magic when he returns back to his office.

*****************  
>"So our plan will go this way?" Kitty confirmed with Miyuki. Miyuki laughed and nodded before commenting gleefully, "I just can't seem to get enough of pranking those magicians!"<p>

Kitty laughed along and urged, "Quick, let's start!"

Miyuki and Kitty headed separate ways and embarked on their plan to prank Lorlen. Miyuki dashed to Lorlen's office and Kitty to the Foodhall.

"Yup! Lorry's office is here!" Miyuki sang as she headed right to the door and knocked.

Lorlen utilized his magic to open the door.

Miyuki knew that but still she purposely screamed in a high-pitched voice, "AAAH! GOT GHOST!"

Lorlen leaped up in shock as Miyuki laughed at his pale face.

"Stop screaming so loudly," Lorlen reprimanded.

"Sorry... Oh yah I was going to alert you of a very important matter!" Miyuki explained.

Lorlen gave up and went straight to the point, "SO...Why are you here Miyuki?"

Miyuki immediately made up a worried and hesitant expression.

"I don't know if I should tell you this Administrator. But...but Kitty had gone too far this time. I still cannot bring myself to believe that...she would attack the Head of Healers, Lady Vinara..."

Lorlen glared at Miyuki skeptically.

"This is not funny Miyuki. Think of better speech," He snapped.

Miyuki forced tears out of her eyes. She had dripped some water into her eyes earlier on.

"But this is really true, Administrator. I really don't know if I should tell you this because if I do, Kitty will be punished and I don't want...But Lady Vinara is dying. And you do know that Kitty is so mischievous that she will dare to do anything."

The suspicion on Lorlen's face disappeared when she said that, much to Miyuki's joy.

"Vinara...where is she?" He demanded.

Gullible Lorlen, Miyuki felt like shouting at him. Oh why are the Guild magicians such fools?

"She...she is in the Foodhall. Being attacked by Kitty with a knife," Miyuki pointed out, trying hard to maintain the solemn expression on her face.

Lorlen immediately rushed out the door before Miyuki could barely finish her sentence.

As the door slammed behind her, Miyuki snickered.

You are such a fool Lorlen. Just a few tears from me and you fell for it. Well I should very well begin my disastrous plan now, Miyuki thought darkly.

****************  
>What loomed before Lorlen when he entered the Foodhall was only a scene of Kitty chewing on a banana.<p>

"KITTY! WHERE IS LADY VINARA! HAND HER UP OR BE PUNISHED!" He roared agitatedly.

Kitty grinned and pointed at the banana she is eating.

"Can't you see? I am attacking Lady Banana now. She is so tasty! Yum yum!"

With that she took a large bite out of the banana, leaving only a small part left.

"Look! She is almost gone now...she is so easy to attack! But I am not going to eat this part. It is her butt and it smells!" Kitty waved the remaining part of the banana at Lorlen and cried out.

Lorlen was outraged. He had been tricked!

"YOU HAD BETTER GIVE ME AN EXPLANATION AS TO ALL THIS!" He shouted at Kitty in utmost fury and charged towards her...

And the next moment he tripped over the banana peel Kitty had carelessly thrown on the ground.

Shocked, he quickly grabbed onto Kitty to balance himself. Kitty was taken aback and stumbled to the ground under Lorlen's weight. Finally Lorlen fell and landed onto Kitty.

Their lips touched.

"AAAH! I JUST KISSED A LORRY!" Kitty screamed out in horror and tried to push Lorlen away from her.

But Lorlen was too heavy.

"Wha...you are really as heavy as a lorry! Get off me or you will be the...the next magician I eat!" Kitty cried out when she realised her attempt to push Lorlen off was not working at all.

"But I...I think I had sprained my leg. I can't get up!" Lorlen replied truthfully. He tried to move but groaned as his ankle hurt.

Kitty was desperate.

"Heal yourself!" She suggested.

"No, I am too tired to do that. I will just mind communicate to any magician and ask him to get me up. Lord Rothen, maybe."

"Ugh Just...just hurry!"

**************  
>Meanwhile Miyuki was in Lorlen's office, all ready to start her prankish plan. She grinned mercilessly as she took out her scissors.<p>

"Ha that lorry. I wonder if he REALLY thinks that I am going to cut holes in his robes? Well no. I am going to cut holes in his folders instead! Hahaha!"

Curious as to whether Lorlen really did believe they were going to cut holes in his robes, Miyuki headed towards Lorlen's robes. They were on his chair.

She let out her trademark laugh when she realised that Lorlen really thought so and there was a strong magical shield surrounding his robes.

Without wasting any more time, she rushed towards Lorlen's folders which were strewn all over the table and began cutting huge holes in them.

She cut the largest holes in the folder titled "Novices' Misconduct" where she and Kitty's names were found all over inside.

In less than ten minutes she was done and she scanned the whole office, pleased as she admired her masterpiece.

Lorlen's office looked as though an earthquake had just struck through it. His ruined folders were scattered all over his office messily and on the walls, lorries were drawn on them. Even the Guild letters and other items like his stationary were all thrown all the ground.

Only his robes were left untouched, new and perfect.

Hearing footsteps outside, Miyuki quickly ran off to find Kitty, not wanting to stay in Lorlen's office anymore.

***************  
>"Administrator! I...I cannot believe that you dare to do this to a novice! I thought you are a decent magician. Why...why are you so sick?" Miyuki cried out in disgust as she stared at the scene of Lorlen lying on top of Kitty.<p>

Kitty was trying desperately to edge away from Lorlen but she was unsuccessful.

And then Lord Rothen came.

"Administrator! I heard your calls! Don't worry, I will help you!" He shouted at Lorlen urgently as he rushed towards him.

Miyuki laughed, "Oh Rothen! So you want to join in too? But you are a senior magician and you would not want to ruin your reputation like this!"

Rothen ignored her and helped Lorlen to his feet.

Once Lorlen was off her, Kitty immediately got up and ran towards Miyuki in relief.

"Hey Miyuki! Help me get revenge. The lorry kissed me!"

Rothen frowned as he looked at the two girls.

Lorlen fumed, "Miyuki and Kitty, this time the two of you had gone too far. A Hearing will be held in the Guild tomorrow to determine specifically whether the two of you should stay or be exiled!"

Rothen nodded sternly, "For now, the two of you will have to follow me back to my room. I need to speak to the two of you."

Miyuki and Kitty tried to escape.

"Rotten! You are so rotten that no one wants to speak to you!" They shouted out mockingly as they headed off.

But their delighted faces turned pale as they felt a very powerful stunstrike hit them, sending them to the ground...

**Note: So how do you all find this chapter? We will be updating more frequently from now on. So look forward to the next chapter!  
><strong> 


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Gone with the Gong**

**Author's Note: We are back with another fresh round of childish humour and nasty pranks! This time, we have four victims on the list. Read on to find out!**

Miyuki and Kitty sat in Rothen's room, involuntarily. Rothen was fuming so angrily that steam was almost coming out of his head. Dannyl, usually very friendly and nice, looked like Fergun had just insulted him a billion times. Things don't look very good here…

"Miyuki… Kitty…" Rothen sighed. "I... I am speechless."

Miyuki snorted. "No, you are not speechless. You are Rothen. Jeez, you have dementia or something? How could you have forgotten your own name? Maybe your brain have gone Rotten…"

Rothen had to sit down, as these two girls were giving him too much of a headache. Dannyl stepped in.

"Miyuki, Kitty…If you keep up with this behaviour, you'll most likely be expelled from the guild and not even we can help you. Do you understand the seriousness of your actions?"

Kitty's eyes lit up. "WONDERFUL! Who even likes this lousy fish gill? Miyuki, let's go join the Ichanis!"

Both of them cheered loudly and started devising plans to prank the Ichanis once they join their guild. They were unaware of the look of utter horror on Rothen and Dannyl's faces.

"How...how did the two of you have knowledge about the…the Ichanis?" Rothen cried out in disbelief.

Miyuki laughed.

"Of course! Our brains are not as rotten as yours!"

Kitty laughed along, and even went to kick Rothen's butt.

Rothen was horrified.

"WHY…WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?" He yelled in aghast.

Kitty snapped back at Rothen gleefully, "Because I feel like it, that's why!"

Abruptly Rothen turned to Dannyl, and he made a gesture. Dannyl nodded and before Miyuki and Kitty could react, they were already being pinned firmly to the two magicians.

"MOLEST!" Miyuki screamed to the magicians that were passing by. But everyone ignored the two pranksters. They were already tired of all their nonsense.

Without warning, Dannyl pressed his hands to Kitty's temples, and Rothen did the same to Miyuki.

"We are going to read your minds," They simply said, ignoring their high-pitched cries for help.

Miyuki and Kitty turned to look at each other.

"Are you thinking what I am thinking?" Kitty whispered. Miyuki grinned and nodded.

This time it was Rothen and Dannyl screaming as Miyuki and Kitty thought of all sorts of rubbish for them to read.

Miyuki thought of the scene when Lady Fergun was removing the binding on his chest while Kitty thought about that time when Rothen was in his room, undressing.

"STOP thinking about that! Show me how you all know about the Ichanis!" Rothen hissed at Miyuki fiercely.

Miyuki ignored him, and in her mind, she zoomed in on Fergun's boobs.

She was taken aback as she felt a sense of excitement from Rothen.

She was about to tease Rothen about being so 'rotten' that no one, not even Fergun wants him, but at that moment there came a shout from Dannyl.

"OH STOP…STOP…STOP! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! OH THAT BODY, OH! I JUST WANNA TOUCH THAT…CHEST..NO, MUST CONTROL MYSELF!"

She turned to see Dannyl cluching his 'down there'. There was a look of thrill on the young alchemist's face.

"What did you think of, Kittty?" Miyuki asked Kitty, her eyes lit with curiosity

Kitty shrugged and replied, "Just Rothen's ugly rotten body. This Dannyl ah, no taste at all."

Rothen turned to look at Dannyl, his expression dark. Dannyl blushed.

Miyuki shook her head.

"I think Ah Curry's body uglier! I don't know why that Makan wants to propose to him! If you are talking about taste, Makan got the worst taste ever. Like seriously, why would anyone want to marry that curry?"

The two girls screeched in laughter as they thought of that time when Takan was kneeling down to Akkarin. And how afterwards, Akkarin uses his dagger to cut Takan's arm…

They felt a sense of horror from both Rothen and Dannyl.

Both magicians got out of the two girls' mind.

"Where did the two of you witness this?" Rothen was trembling in utmost shock, unable to believe what he had just seen.

"OI ROTTEN! Why you shaking? Too excited to start doing 'it' with Dannyl? You want me to help and…" Kitty was about to make another joke but was cut off by Rothen's shout of frustration.

They wondered what they have done wrong. Oh come on, it is just Takan proposing to Akkarin. No biggie…

"What…" Rothen quivered. "What is… What…"

Miyuki snorted. "Pfft…. It's nothing much. Just Takan proposing to Ah Curry. Think Ah Curry said yes and they had a wedding. Didn't you know?"

Rothen shook with anger and went to find Akkarin

Akkarin was enjoying some Anuren Dark in his own Residence. Just then, without warning, his door flew open. An angry Rothen marched in.

_Why does he look so angry…?_

"AKKARIN!" Rothen shouted. "To think that you'd do this….? To me, to us, to the whole guild?"

Akkarin was puzzled. "I don't know what you are talking about, Lord Rothen."

Suddenly, he spotted two heads. Miyuki and Kitty were peeping into the room. What have the two of them done?

"High Lord Akkarin… I feel very betrayed."

_No…. No way… Could they have…? Could they have leaked out his deepest darkest secret?_

Akkarin gathered energy, ready to strike at Rothen.

"Akkarin." Rothen sobbed. "To think, that after so many years with the guild… You dared to…"

Akkarin glared harder at Rothen.

"…Dared to not invite me or the guild to your wedding….?"

_What….?_

He head Kitty snorted. "To think Rotten was Rotten enough to believe it."

Well, at least his secret was still safe. Even so, he had no idea how to handle this case… Rothen was genuinely upset about the lies Kitty and Miyuki fed him, but at least it was still manageable.

- _Ah Curry, if you don't help us think of a way to stay in the guild, the next hearing will not be about Fergun, but about you…_

Akkarin felt angry at being threatened, but he managed to control himself. He is at a disadvantage here. But, how does he stop the guild from expelling them after all they had done?

_- Miyuki, there might be a way. You know the gong that Lorlen used every hearing….? _

_-…Yah, that annoying gong! It is like Lorry's pet already. While people have a cat or a dog as a pet, Lorry has a GONG to spend his time with. Sigh, of course no one wants him. He is a lorry after all and…_

_-Ok ok I get your point. Now go and steal that gong. You have the gong means you have the whole Magician Guild already. The whole Guild cannot function without it. It is like the heart of the Guild._

_-Is that all you can think of, Ah Curry? Argh…Fine, we will follow your advice. It's not like there's any other way._

It was late at night in the Magician's Guild. All the magicians and novices were sound asleep.

.All except Miyuki and Kitty.

"Hurry up, Miyuki!" Kitty whispered urgently. If any magician was to wake up from their slumber, they would be doomed no doubt.

After what seems like an eternity, the two girls reached Lorlen's room, only to find it tightly locked with magic.

Miyuki cursed. Now what? And then a brilliant idea popped up in her head…

"GONG, GONG, GONG!"

Moments later, Miyuki and Kitty were crouching at Lorlen's door, imitating the sound of the gong.

"Oh…another day, another hearing…" Lorlen mumbled in his sleep.

All the Guild magicians were standing in front of him, waiting.

"Hurry up, Lorlen! The Hearing is about to begin!" They urged.

Lorlen fidgeted.

"No…just let me sleep…"

Lord Balkan grabbed his gong and held it close to his ear…

"GONG!"

The loud sound nearly burst Lorlen's eardrums.

Startled, he fumbled to get up of his bed.

"What is today's hearing about?" He questioned.

Akkarin shook his head, a look of resign on his face.

"You, of all magicians, should know about this. I am disappointed in you, Lorlen. Didn't you hear? Fergun returned back to the Guild again! He was standing at the Arena area, demanding another Warrior to come and fight him…I mean…her. This Hearing is crucial. We need to let her know that the Guild will never accept her and…"

His explanation was disrupted by Fergun suddenly dashing into the room.

Without warning, he snatched Lorlen's gong away and ran out of the room.

"You cannot catch me, Lorlen! Say goodbye to your precious gong!" Fergun shouted like a sissy as he headed towards the Tarali River.

"NO MY GONG! STOP! STOP!" Lorlen instantly got out of his bed and chased after Fergun, in a frantic attempt to save his beloved gong…

Miyuki and Kitty struggled to control their laughter as they watch Lorlen sleepwalk out of his room.

"My gong, my gong…" The Administrator mumbled as he walked towards the exit of the Guild.

"Now's our chance!" Miyuki whispered. Kitty made a signal, and the two girls ran into the room and grabbed the huge gong…

As the two girls carried the gong away, they observed Lorlen.

"He's heading off towards the Tarali River-"Before Kitty could speak any further…

SPLASH!

Lorlen landed in the river, finally waking up from his sleepwalk.

"Now he's really GONE WITH THE GONG," Miyuki commented as they rushed back to their room in the Novices' Quarter…

**So how do you guys find this chapter? I hope you all have had a good laugh. More hilarious chapters will be up soon, so stay tuned! :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: In this chapter specially dedicated to pranks, Miyuki and Kitty pranked everyone in the Guild-from lowly novices to the High Lord himself.**

It was a good day at the Magician's Guild. At least for Kitty and Miyuki.

Lorlen was searching for his gong, so there was no lessons as most of the higher magicians, magicians, novices and even the servants and the chefs were all helping Lorlen search for his gong. They all had to swim around the smelly Tarali River, as Lorlen insisted that his gong must be somewhere in there, as he had a a dream that Lady Fergirl took his gong and threw it inside the river. The High Lord watched from a corner, too guilty to say a word.

"I... I need my gong!" Lorlen sobbed. "It's my life, my heart, everything about me. Oh, my dear dear gong, why are you gone...?"  
>High Lord Akkarin wished he could say something, but he himself have no idea where the two girls hid the gong.<p>

Meanwhile, Kitty and Miyuki walked around the guild, looking for something to do. The guild with lessons was boring, but the guild without lessons is even more boring. Miyuki was about to suggest to Kitty that they should go and explore forbidden areas when she yelled in fright.

"GHOST!"

Turns out it was a magician levitating down a stairs. Miyuki's loud shout distracted the magician, causing to lose his focus and tumble down the stairs.

"Run!" Kitty grabbed Miyuki's arm and they quickly ran away before the magician could get a good look at them and punish them by making them sweep the floor.

Soon, they find themselves outside the Guild Hall. Sonea was wandering around there.

"Sonea, why are you not helping with the search? Naughty naughty Sonea!" They chided as they wagged a finger at their friend.

Sonea shrugged and told Miyuki and Kitty, "I wasn't allowed to help with the search. I guess the Guild still doesn't really trust slum dwellers. Not that I care anyway."

_Guild. Slums. Sonea._ Kitty thought of these three words over and over again... Then, she had an idea!

"Sonea!" Kitty exclaimed. "We need your help! Today, the guild is having an Open House and we need your help to invite all your slum friends here to take a tour around the guild!"

Sonea blinked. "But... I thought the magicians aren't very accepting of slum dwellers?"

Miyuki realised what Kitty was doing and joined in her plan. "Oh, Sonea! Didn't you hear? They are going to allow slum dwellers to be part of the next spring intake. So, do invite as many slum friends as you can to give them the same chance you've been given!"

Sonea nodded excitedly and went off to the slums to share the good news with everyone. Miyuki and Kitty grinned at each other...

After a long day, Lorlen and his magician helpers were back from Tarali River. The magicians were hoping for a rest after a long long day.

However, Lorlen insisted on getting his gong back.

"Now I want you all to search through the WHOLE Guild! Fergun must have hid it somewhere!"

Everyone groaned and tried to protest but they let out screams of shock as soon as they stepped into the Guild.

"Oh dear!" Vinara cried. "What are these people doing here?"

Lord Garrel yelled. "You dirty slums are trespassing into the guild! Get out now before we execute you!"

The group of slum dwellers quickly make their way out of the guild. The magicians thought that was all the slum dwellers there were, but as they walked further into the guild, they saw even more slum dwellers. There were hundred, no, THOUSANDS of them! It was like the whole slum has migrated into the guild. Many magicians quickly tried to chase them out, but there were simply too many slum dwellers here.

To make matters worse, the slum dwellers were creating havoc in their Guild. Some were dancing in the Guildhall, leaving muddy footprints all around. Some wandered into the Mgaician Quarter and damaged some of the magicians' personal items. While some of them were spraying water at the magicians. Chaos ensued as the magicians slipped and fell.

There was even a dirty old slum dweller who was wearing their robes!

If only Lorlen has his gong back, one strike of the gong would catch everyone's attention.

"No! No!" Osen shouted at a slum dweller who was reading a book. "Put that book down! It belongs to the Library and outsiders are not allowed to touch it!"

Lady Vinara shrieked. "Return those herbs back to the Healer's Quarter!"

"How dare you!" Akkarin shouted. "Those are my Anuren Dark! Give it back!"

"And don't open that bottle!" Lord Elben warned. But it was too late. The hideous smell of ammonia filled the air and being unable to tolerate the stink, he fainted.

Lady Vinara let out another high-piercing shriek. "HIGH LORD! Why did you forget to lock your door? That slum dweller is stealing all your Gold!"

High Lord Akkarin panicked. He tried to give chase, but ended up tripping onto his robes.

The slum dweller turned back and noticing the High Lord sprawled on the ground, he laughed. He laughed so much that he did not look where he was going, and SPLASH!

The slum dweller landed into the Tarali River, along with the High Lord's Gold.

Akkarin could only watch, dumbfounded, as his bags of Gold drifted away.

While the rest of the magicians are in great confusion, Rothen and Dannyl already knew what was going on. There was only one answer for something like this. One and only one answer...

They finally found the two of them sitting in the Foothall, eating mashed potato. They looked rather relaxed and happy, despite all the chaos outside.

"Kitty. Miyuki."

"What?" they asked. "Why are you calling our names? It's not lessons right now."

Rothen was getting angry but tired already. "Those slums in the guild... they aren't your doings, are they?"

Miyuki spit out her food in Rothen's face. "Did I hear wrong or is this the first time that Rotten is suspecting us of something?"

"Do you not understand sarcasm?"

"Well," Kitty snorted. "If you wanna know who invited the slum dwellers in, then its not us. It's Sonea. I mean, the two of us have no connections with the slums. How can we possibly invite them here? Heck, the last time I saw them, they were throwing stones at me and Miyuki!"

Rothen and Dannyl had no idea what to say or do. It is indeed true that the slums hate Kitty and Miyuki. They themselves saw them being stoned and went to rescue them. However, Sonea is far too nice to be playing pranks on the guild. Nevertheless, they decided to find Sonea to confirm things.

"Where's Sonea?" Rothen asked.

"I dunno... she was in the library the last time I saw her."

And they went to find Sonea.

"Sonea! Sonea!" Kitty yelled urgently. "Hide inside this cupboard."

"But... why should I?"

"Just do it!"

And with that, Sonea was pushed into the cupboard, sealed shut with tape. She started jumping about in the cupboard, making it bounce vigorously. It took the strength of one Kitty and one Miyuki to hold the cupboard down.

Just then, Regin the Virgin walked by. He was muttering about how he'll make sure the magicians invade the slums like how the slums invaded the guild. He also say that when he's old enough to participate in the yearly Purge, he'll puke all over the slums and throw stones at them.

It must have made Sonea agitated, because the cupboard shook more violently, until Kitty and Miyuki did not have the strength to hold it any longer...

_**BAM!**_

"Ooooooowwwwwww!"

Regin let out a yell of pain as the cupboard crushed heavily onto him.

"Some magician! Do come and save me!" He shouted as he struggled frantically to get out.

Miyuki and Kitty laughed mercilessly. "Don't worry, Regin! We will save you!"

With that, the two girls grabbed heavy items and piled them on top of the cupboard.

"Please, stop. Help me..." Regin whimpered.

"But we are helping you!" The two girls insisted.

At that moment they heard voices coming from the corridor. That two voices...it must be Rotten and Da Niu! They must have heard Regin's yell!

Miyuki and Kitty fled the scene, not wanting to get caught again.

That night, Miyuki and Kitty were so bored that they sneaked into the Night Room secretly, eager to hear the Guild's latest gossip.

"Why do they call this the Night Room? It makes me think of sick stuff. Maybe the magicians creep into this room at night to engage in sexual practices..." Miyuki whispered to Kitty.

Kitty was about to reply her, but paused when she heard Lord Perkin's voice.

Lord Perkin was grumbling. "All because of Lorlen and his stupid gong, the whole Guild is turned upside down! We can't let this go on! The High Lord is his friend, isn't it? Akkarin is so rich-I am sure he would have more than enough money to buy a gong for Lorlen!"

Lady Vinara shook her head. "I am afraid this is no longer the case. You see, due to that culprit who invited all that slum dwellers in, Akkarin's Gold are now all gone. In other words, he is broke."

It was really difficult for Miyuki and Kitty to stifle their laughters.

"Wait I have an idea!" Kitty cried out (just a bit too loudly) as a prank directed at Ah Curry hatched in her mind.

"I heard a voice coming from under that table!" Lord Elben alerted the magicians as he pointed to the spot where Miyuki and Kitty are hiding.

"I will go check it out." Lord Yikmo told the magicians.

Everyone in the Night Room froze and Miyuki and Kitty could hear footsteps approaching their hiding spot.

Oh no...

But then Miyuki thought out of the most brilliant idea of all.

"SSSSSS...SSSSSS...SSSSS..." Miyuki and Kitty hissed, trying their best to imitate the sound of a snake.

"AAAAAAAH! THERE IS A SNAKE DOWN THERE!" Lady Vinara fell for their prank and screamed.

Kitty recognised Lord Yikmo's ugly leg walking towards them. She grabbed the feather duster she found under the table and hit the warrior's leg with it.

"OUCH!" Lord Yikmo yelped in pain.

"LORD YIKMO HAS BEEN BITTEN!" Lady Vinara yelled, adding fear to the already terrified magicians.

Kitty and Miyuki watched with glee as the foolish magicians scamper out of the Night Room as if a million Ah Currys were after them.

"So what's that idea you have just now, Kitty?" Miyuki asked excitedly.

Kitty grinned and gave Miyuki the instructions.

"Ah Curry ah! Why you bankrupt? Gambling addiction ah? Or you buy too many Anuren Dark?"

"And why is it called Anuren Dark? Why not Anuren Bright?"

High Lord Akkarin ignored their nonsense and tried to push them away.

"Just leave me alone!" He mumbled fiercely.

"Never mind him. Let's go for our slum shopping, Kitty. I am going to buy a few more canes to smack the magicians' butt." Miyuki told Kitty.

Kitty smirked and took out their "treasure".

Akkarin let out a gasp at the golden stones Kitty held in her hands. The two girls had gathered the stones from the Guild Gardens earlier on, and they had painted it with gold paint to resemble real Gold.

"How...how...did the two of you...get...get so much gold?" He cried out in disbelief.

Kitty snorted. "Why should we tell you? Get your filthy hands off OUR gold! This belongs to us, and don't you even think of taking them!"

Akkarin's eyes glimmered at the prospect of having so much gold to spend. The gold wasn't half as much as the amount he once possess but now that he is so poor, it looked very promising.

"Okay okay! Since you look so pitiful and Kitty and I are such kind souls, we will give you all these gold. We have even more to spare, don't worry!" Miyuki assured Akkarin in a sympathetic tone.

"REALLY?" Akkarin looked so excited, he could fly.

"Yes, but on one condition..."

Akkarin gave Miyuki and Kitty everything they requested in exchange for the gold, and that include his whole carton of sumi drink, his extra set of black robes and even his servant Takan.

Before the two girls leave the High Lord's Residence, they opened their water bottles and emptied the water on the "gold" they gave Akkarin.

And they paraded away from his Residence like a boss.

Words could not express the fury Akkarin felt when he realised that the gold were just stones!

"AND I HAVE GIVEN THEM EVERYTHING I HAVE!" He roared. He felt so angry, he could explode!

He calmed down a little when he remembered that he had not given the two girls the most important thing in his life-his Anuren Dark.

"At least I still have my Anuren Dark." He comforted himself.

But as soon as he took a sip from his favorite wine, he let out a cry of shock.

Miyuki and Kitty had poked large holes in all the bottles, and all his wine had turned sour! And Akkarin was left with nothing...

The next day, lessons in the guild resumed.

The Higher Magicians have insisted that lessons continue as per usual.

"The annual exams are coming. We can't afford to waste anymore time." Lord Osen tried to persuade Lorlen.

Lorlen sobbed. "Fine! You can have your lessons all you want. I will continue searching for my gong!"

And so, the novices all had lessons today. Some were saying they'd rather search for Lorlen's gong than attend boring guild lessons. Today, Kitty and Miyuki are having poetry class.

"It is said." Lord Elben recited. "That in Imardin, the wind has a soul."

Just then, Regin farted. Kitty and Miyuki sat behind him and could smell his smelly fart.

Miyuki was frustrated and scolded, "Yes, indeed, the wind has a soul. Regin, your fart has been smelled by the wind."

"Yes! Yes!" Kitty joined in. "So you better watch out, Regin. The wind sees everything and knows everything about you. Beware, for it has a soul."

Regin looked at them like they were crazy. Lord Elben by now has learned to ignore them, so he continued with his poetry.

"It is also said, that the moon is known as the Eye."

Kitty chuckled. "Regin, you better watch out at night when you're in the Baths. The moon can see your naked body and extremely small willy."

"Kitty, kitty! The moon is an eye right? Wanna go poke the eye tonight...?"

Regin sighed. "Stupid slum dwellers! The two of you are worst than Sonea! Lord Elben mean that the moon is the eye figuratively, not literally."

But Kitty and Miyuki ignored him, and continued making fun of the rest of the poetry that Lord Elben recited. Kitty and Miyuki had no idea that all the jokes they make during class will come back to bite them...during the exams...

The atmosphere in the classrooms seem rather different lately. Instead of hanging out in their various social groups or going over to Regin's seat while waiting for the next lesson, the novices were all serious and quiet. They remained at their seats, reading through huge piles of textbooks. Some were even taking down notes.

They were so obsessed over their studying, that they even stopped teasing Sonea.

Every single novice is revising, all except for...

Miyuki and Kitty.

As the two girls tried to disturb their classmates, Lord Sarrin stepped into the room.

He cleared his throat and spoke out. "Today's lesson is very important. It will be a recap of the chapter about acids and their reactions."

Immediately everyone sat up in their seats and listened intently as Lord Sarrin scribbled lots of words and formula on the board.

The classroom was so silent that Miyuki and Kitty started getting impatient.

Finally Miyuki could not take it anymore.

She stood up, held up her chair, and flung it heavily on the ground with a loud "BANG!"

The novices jumped in shock, snapping out of their focus. All eyes turned to glare at Miyuki.

There was this girl, Bina, who got such a shock that she even started crying like a baby.

But the impact of the sound was still the greatest on the teacher himself.

Lord Sarrin was wheezing heavily. "I...I can't breathe..." He stuttered as he struggled to catch his breath.

"Oh no! He is having his heart attack!" Someone screamed.

Luckily for him, Lady Vinara was walking pass the classroom that time, and she quickly took the pale-faced magician to the Healer's Quarter.

"Lesson's over, everyone!" Kitty informed the class triumphantly as Miyuki cheered.

The novices groaned. They are weak in this chapter, and missing this lesson means losing more marks for their Alchemy Exam next week.

Only Miyuki and Kitty were unconcerned about this lost of lesson time.

"Acids? We already learnt that in our secondary school!" The two girls boasted as they walked out of the classroom towards the Food Hall, despite no instructions of an early break.

In a blink of an eye, Kitty and Miyuki are sitting in the exam hall, taking the end of year exam in the guild. All the jokes they made and not paying attention in class at all... It has caused them to not understand anything written on the exam paper.

Q: What is the herb used to cure headache?

A: Panadol.

Q: What is the herb used to cure fever?

A: More Panadol.

Q: What is the herb used to cure common cold?

A: Still Panadol.

Q: How do you heal a magician who is having a sudden bout of heart attack? List the four crucial Healing steps.

A: What Healing Steps? You think what? The staircase steps ah? Just use CPR lor!

Oh come on, these answers are indeed true. Well, at least in their dimension and era.

Miyuki was really stressed out. She is always good at exams and anything school-related. But this exam... She really have no idea what is the correct answer. If only... If only she can take a peep at someone's answer...

"OH LOOK!" Kitty yelled. "ISNT THAT HIGH LORD AH CURRY WITH HOLES IN HIS ROBES AGAIN?"

All the female novices quickly ran out to take a look, their eyes shimmering with excitement. The male novices were curious and also followed along. The classroom was empty for a brief moment.

"Quick! Take a look at their answer!" Miyuki ordered urgently.

They memorized a bit of the answers from Sonea's paper. She was known to be very hardworking and smart, so her answers must be correct. Just as the novices came back into class, Miyuki and Kitty went back to their seats and pretended that they were there all along.

And that was how they made it through the Healing exam.

Alchemy exam was much much more easier. They breezed through the theory part, having learnt most of it back in their secondary school.

"It is done." Kitty announced when she finished the whole paper.

Miyuki chuckled and added on. "The exam has weakened me. I need your strength."

Frustrated sighs were heard from the other novices. They were still trying to concentrate to do the questions, and Miyuki and Kitty just could not stop talking.

"Shut up, you filthy slum dwellers!" Regin yelled at the two girls. It was obvious that he could not answer most of the questions-Alchemy is Regin's weakest Disclipline.

The two girls were going to teach him a lesson, when abruptly he let out a delighted shout.

"OH! Why didn't I think of this in the first place!"

Curious, the two girls took a sneak peek at his paper. Apparently he had successfully answered a 25 mark question.

As the paper is of a total of 30 marks, 25 marks is quite a huge weightage. And that explains why Regin the Virgin is smiling like a pig.

Kitty turned to Miyuki and winked.

Without any hesitation, she strutted over to Regin and snatched his paper away.

And before he could react, Kitty tore his whole paper into shreds.

Now what was left of Regin's script were small, scattered pieces of paper...

Miyuki took the remains of the paper and sprinkled them on Regin.

"Oh look! It is raining confetti!" She cried out in joy.

"YOU LOWLY, DIRTY SLU-" Regin paused as the horrible truth sank into him.

His paper has been destroyed.

After all the hard work and effort he had put in, he would still end up getting a zero.

Hot tears flowed down the fallen virgin's face. Miyuki laughed so much she had a stomachache.

When the paper is over, Lord Rothen entered the classroom and announced.

"Attention novices. Get ready for the next section of your Alchemy exam. For the practical exam, you all would have to head to the Alchemy Lab."

Everyone stood up and exited the room, still discussing the incident just now.

Miyuki walked over to Rothen and thanked him in a sincere tone, "Thank you for giving us this announcement, Rothen, and I hope you have a rotten day."

Rothen ignored her and headed off to prepare the lab.

Practical section, huh?

Miyuki and Kitty grinned. This is going to be so fun...

The lab reeked of smelly, unknown chemicals. Miyuki and Kitty longed to get out of this hellish place, but the practical section is compulsory.

Bored, they disturbed Lord Rothen (who was overseeing the exam) with "rotten" jokes.

"My lord, this beaker is ROTTEN!"

"My lord, this chemical is ROTTEN!"

"My lord, Regin's butt is ROTTEN!"

Lord Rothen took a deep breath and tried to remain calm and controlled.

"Wait! Speaking of that Regin, where is he? I want to prank him somemore!" Miyuki asked Kitty as her eyes scanned the lab.

Kitty sneered. "That coward asked to be excused."

Disappointed, Miyuki looked around, trying to think of more pranks.

But the rest of the novices were all occupied with their experiments.

She took a quick glance at the board.

It read "Add Metal X to the beaker of water."

A cunning smile spread across Miyuki's face.

"I wonder what will happen if I add Metal Y instead?"

With that she took the metal labelled as "Y" and added it into the water.

"Wait Miyuki! Stop! It is written there! Metal Y is Caesium!" Kitty screamed in horror.

But it was too late.

A loud, deafening explosion filled the air, followed by piercing screams.

Miyuki and Kitty thought they were doomed, but then they felt a strong magical energy enveloping them...

"Administrator!" Osen shouted urgently as he dashed into Lorlen's office. "I have something important to tell you! It's about the Alchemy Lab!"

Lorlen looked up with anticipation.

"You found my gong there?"

Osen clenched his fists, trying hard to control his anger.

He explained to Lorlen, "It's not about your gong, Administrator. There have been an explosion in the lab! Lord Rothen tried to protect all the novices by creating a shield around them. The tactic worked and all the novices were safe. Unfortunely the impact of the explosion left Lord Rothen with terrible injuries! I hope you understand the seriousness of this situation!"

Lorlen's eyes widened and he stood up, his hands trembling.

Osen heaved a sigh of relief, glad that some sense had finally gotten into Lorlen.

But the next question Lorlen asked made Osen want to facepalm himself.

"Lord Rothen found my gong?"

Next up was Warrior exam, which was not as easy as it seems. There were no answers to copy.

They started to sing:

"I was prepared to do my best  
>Thought I can handle any test<br>For I can do so many tricks  
>But I wasn't prepared for this<p>

Cutting their robes would have been a breeze  
>Facts and figures I recite with ease<br>One Rothen plus one Lorlen equals one rotten lorry!

I could ace a test on the best pranks  
>But I wasn't prepared for this<br>Will I fail or I will pass  
>I can't be sure<p>

My mind is sharp, my pranks are good  
>My heart's cunning..."<p>

They have to fight! And they don't even know how to make a basic Shield! Luckily, there was some time before the Warrior exam starts. Enough time for Kitty and Miyuki to head off to the slums.

When they returned to the guild, everyone was staring at them. Especially Yikmo, who quickly shouted, "Kitty! Miyuki! What is up with these costumes? As novices, you must wear your brown robes at all time!"

"But aren't we having warrior exam now? We are just getting prepared." Miyuki explained.

They were armed from head to toe in bright shiny armour costume. They even have a sword and shield wielded.

"Take these off!" Yikmo commanded. "I will not allow my students to take their exam in such inappropriate costumes!"

Kitty retaliated."What inappropriate? We are dressed decently. Unless, Yikmo, you have a fetish for knight uniforms?"

"Yikmo!" Miyuki glaredat him sternly."Yikmo, I saw how you pranked Sonea by dressing up in commoner clothes to scare her. Now, you wouldn't want the whole guild to know about how childish you are, do you?"

Yikmo's face turned pale.

He grimaced, and retorted back, "I am training Sonea! It's a different thing altogether!"

Kitty ignored him and shouted out to everyone, "Hey, do you know that Lord Yikmo loves to prank novices?"

All eyes turned to Yikmo and most of the magicians present gave him disapproving stares.

Kitty and Miyuki laughed as they noted signs of embarrassment on the young warrior's face.

Lord Yikmo quickly cleared his throat and raised his voice. "Alright, we will begin the Warrior Exam."

The warrior exams soon began, with Miyuki and Kitty once again pranking their way through.

And that was how Miyuki and Kitty cleared the three exams.

Before long, they were sitting in the Guild Hall, listening to a boring post-exam Hearing.

Director Jerrick stood at the front, addressing all the novices.

"I hope you all have successfully breezed through all the papers. I sincerely wish you all good luck, but if the result that comes back is disappointing, don't be deterred. Remember "When one door closes, the other one opens!" There will always be hope!"

Miyuki and Kitty burst into laughter at the quote he gave.

Not bothering to pay any attention to the two girls, Director Jerrick continued, "Some of your magicial potential will only be expanded upon later in your life. When you fail, don't give up! Keep on trying! And you will end up succeeding on your final attempt! As the former High Lords of the Guild say "It's always the last key in the bunch that opens the lock". Persevere on!"

Miyuki interupted him rudely. "Keys? I thought magicians use their own magic to open doors? They got use keys meh? The past High Lords are so-"

Jerrick turned to Miyuki and narrowed his eyes.

Miyuki let out a cry of pain as she felt a stunstrike hit her.

Kitty stood up, horrified.

"Jelly! How dare you! I will make sure you suffer under my million firestrikes!"

She closed her eyes and focussed, but of course no strike came out. Instead she accidentally let out a huge fart.

Regin laughed and jeered, "Firestrike? More like Fartstrike!"

The Hearing ended shortly and the novices left the Hall, still teasing Miyuki and Kitty.

The two girls glanced at Director Jerrick meaningfully. He is so going to suffer under their pranks.

Miyuki and Kitty watched as Lord Dannyl closed his room door.

As his door shutted with a "bang", the two girls rushed over to Director Jerrick's room door and smashed it open.

Turns out that Director Jerrick was undressing at that time.

The door flung open to reveal his naked body.

He let out a yell of aghast and his whole face turned pale.

"WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES THE OTHER ONE OPENS!" Miyuki and Kitty shouted at him loudly.

They were so loud that some of the magicians in the rooms opened their doors and stepped out, curious to check out what's happening.

The female magicians screamed in horror when they caught a glimpse of the Director's naked body.

They fled into their rooms and closed their doors.

"QUICK! Open the other doors!" Kitty cried out.

There was a huge commotion as all the other magicians' doors were forced open.

Lord Osen was rudely aroused from his nap and fuming from anger, he warned the two girls, "Kitty! Miyuki! Stop this! Magicians will get hurt! I will inform the Administrator about this!"

Miyuki smirked. "Ha! You think you are so awesome, Awesome Osen? It's of no use! Lorry is already so occupied with some _very important_ matters, why disturb him with such insignificant things?"

Osen fell into silence. It is indeed true. Lorlen cares more about his gong than anything else now.

"I...I will tell the High Lord about this!" He took to his last resort.

"But.." Kitty protested. "It wasn't even our fault. It is Dannyl's fault! He closed the first door!"

Just then, Akkarin opened the door to the magician's quarter and asked if everything is alright.

"Oh no! Ah Curry opened a door! Quick! A door must be closed!" Miyuki yelled.

They happened to close Jerrick's door. Ah Curry did not look very amused to see the two girls causing chaos in the guild. He tried to open Jerrick's door but after a few seconds, the door still refuses to budge.

"Director Jerrick?" Akkarin knocked on the door. "I need to speak to you regarding certain issues concerning the guild."

There was a turning sound of the door but the door did not open.

"Help! I'm trapped here!" Jerrick's muffled voice came from behind the door.

"Use your magic!" Akkarin snapped impatiently.

"I... I dont use magic to lock my doors. I find it too troublesome. I have a bunch of keys here, I'm going to pass it to you from beneath the door."

A metallic clanking sound was heard as a huge bunch of keys was passed. Akkarin picked up the keys, shocked. There were about 50 keys, all of different shapes and sizes.

Akkarin asked, "Which one is the one to your door?"

"Erm, the big one with a circular head."

Big one with a circular head? There were so many of it. Which one was he referring to?

Seeing Akkarin's troubled look, Kitty offered to help.

"Ah Curry! I know which one! Its the last one! Remember! It's the last key in the bunch that opens the lock!"

Akkarin tried the last key, but to no avail.

Director Jerrick mumbled something inaudible from behind the door. Kitty heard the words "idiot", "literal meaning", "figuratively" and "My name is Jerrick".

Suddenly, all the keys crumbled into dust. Akkarin, Kitty, Miyuki and all the magicians standing around watched in horror.

"Oh," Jerrick said. "I forgot to mention... I casted a spell on my door lock. If you use one wrong key, the door will be locked permanently."

The truth dawned on all the magicians present.

Director Jerrick will be trapped inside his room forever!

And now with the Administrator not doing his duties, missing a director will only make things worst!

The magicians panicked, and in a frantic attempt to get Jerrick out, they threw forcestrikes at the door.

But the door still remained tightly locked!

The magicians were all starting to blame Akkarin.

"High Lord, you should have asked the Director more details about his room key first..."

"You should have asked Jerrick to make a mark on the correct key!"

"Why did you use the last key? The last key don't even have a circular head!"

Miyuki and Kitty grinned cunningly as they realised the severity of the situation.

"Come on, Kitty. Let's go to the slums," Miyuki urged and she gave her friend a secretive look.

By the time the two girls returned from the slums back to Jerrick's room, they noticed that all the magicians were gone.

They must have gone off to find more help, the two girls mused.

Trying not to laugh, they opened the box...

Thousands of insects crawled into Jerrick's room through the small gap under his door. There were all sorts of insects, from ants to spiders to cockroaches.

Terrified screams were heard as Jerrick was attacked by the swarms of insects.

He tried desperately to open his door, but to no avail.

He cannot escape!

"HELP! HELP! HELP! A spider just crawled into my robes!" Jerrick shrieked. There were stomping of feet as he ran around his room like a madman.

"Have fun, Director Jelly!" Miyuki and Kitty called out at him triumphantly.

At that moment they heard Balkan's voice.

He have actually gathered the whole Magician Guild over, and he was giving out instructions.

"When I count to three, all of you will direct forcestrikes at the door! One, two, THREE!"

Forcestrikes shot out from all the magicians and the door crumpled to the floor, sending clouds of dust billowing into the air.

The magicians cheered. They have succeeded saving Jerrick!

However the cheering died down as all the insects in the room started attacking them.

Lord Garrel yelled in horror as cockroaches scuttled up his robes. "Someone! Get these things off me!"

Osen frowned at Garrel and asked him in disbelief, "It's just cockroaches, so why don't you just use magic to brush them away?"

Garrel shook his head and revealed, "NO! I am not touching those things! I have a fear of cockroaches!"

More cockroaches crawled onto his robes but no one offered any help.

Miyuki and Kitty seized this opportunity and they dashed over to Garrel excitedly.

"We will help you, my lord!"

With that they pushed Lord Garrel headfirst into a huge barrel.

The frightened magician struggled to get out, but failed.

"Help me! I am stuck!" He winced in pain.

All the magicians ignored him. They were far too busy getting rid of those insects on their robes.

"Would you like a little bath?" Kitty asked, and together with Miyuki, they rolled the barrel containing Garrel into the Tarali River.

The barrel landed inside with a huge splash.

As the two girls watched, Miyuki remarked, "So many things have been going into the river recently! First it is Lorry's gong, then it is Ah Curry's money, and now it is Lord Garrel! The river must be very happy to have so many visitors!"

Miyuki and Kitty were most surprised when they heard that the High Lord wants to meet them in his Residence.

"I don't think we should go. What if the Ah Curry go and do something bad to us? We have created so much trouble in his Guild, who knows how he would punish us?" Kittu expressed her doubts.

Miyuki waved a hand dismissively.

"Don't be scared, Kitty! Ah Curry is under our control, remember?"

With that she kicked open the door to his Residence.

"Oi Ah Curry! Why you call us here! You better make this quick! We have a lot of important things to do!" She shouted out rudely.

Kitty strolled over to Akkarin and greeted him mockingly, "Good morning, Takan."

Akkarin looked as though he did not hear her.

He was holding two slips of paper in his hands and he wore a faint smile on his face.

"I was right about the two of you. Your magicial potential, have, once again, impressed me." He praised.

Miyuki and Kitty looked at him as if he is crazy.

He strolled over to the two girls and handed them the two papers as he explained, "I just received your result slips from your guardians. I offer my congrats, for the two of you have attained outstanding results."

Kitty and Miyuki looked through their result slips. Sure enough, their grades were fantastic!

"Oh my Akkarin! I got full marks for Warrior!" Miyuki exclaimed, pleased.

"And I got full marks for Alchemy!" Kitty cried out in sheer delight.

"We passed Healing too, thanks to Sonea," Miyuki added on.

A song then popped out in their heads and they began singing...

"We were prepared to do our best

Have what it takes to pass the test

All those doubts we can dismiss

Turns out we were prepared for this!

We clearly have just what it takes

To pass a test with awesome grades!

We knew for sure we would prevail,

For since when has these two prankster

ever fail?

All those doubts that we can dismiss

Trust ourselves and our pranks succeed

Turns out we were awesome pranksters!"

"But..." Kitty wondered as they finished their song. "Why is it YOU who is giving us our results? Why not our guardians?"

Akkarin nodded and began explaining, "First of all, Lord Rothen is still injured from the Alchemy Lab explosion." He glared at Miyuki before he continued, "And secondly, I need the two of you to help me."

Help Akkarin? Miyuki and Kitty were taken aback.

How...?

Before they could ask him, Akkarin lowered his voice, "Before this. I would like to know how exactly you all found out about my nocturnal activities."

Kitty teased Akkarin, "Nocturnal activities? You think you are what? An owl?"

Akkarin let out a defeated sigh, knowing that Miyuki and Kitty would never tell him the truth.

Deciding not to waste anymore time, he revealed his request.

"I need the two of you to help me fight off Kariko and the remaining Ichanis."

Miyuki let out a gasp. "CURRY-Ko? What's wrong with this place? First, everyone is obsessed with magic. And then they become obsessed with touching people. Now? Everyone is obsessed with having "curry" in their names!"

Kitty laughed and pointed out, "Ah Curry and Curry Ko! What a perfect match!"

"But Ah Curry, why you have so much confidence in us?" She asked, bewildered.

Miyuki tried to make a guess and then she shouted with realisation, "Oh I know why! He is impressed with those perfect pranks we pulled on the magicians!"

Akkarin frowned. It was not what he meant. The ichanis are not like the guild magicians, something to mess with. No, they are powerful and merciless. However, Akkarin thought back to all the pranks they have pulled, from cutting holes in his robes, revealing Fergun's identity, trying to take his guardianship...

Akkarin smiled his crooked smile. "You know what. Show me what you have up your sleeves.


	14. Chapter 14

**This chapter is dedicated to LOVE! Stay tune, as Dorrien, Akkarin, Regin and Cery fight to death to win the heart of Sonea, as well as some cheesy love story from our two heroines, Miyuki and Kitty!**

It is Warrior lessons again. Today, Lord Balkan is taking over the lesson as Lord Yikmo is occupied with some administrative matters. Miyuki and Kitty groaned as the broken Lord Balkan instructed the class to assemble at the Arena.

To make things worse, Regin the Virgin was bragging about his so-called Warrior "expertise" again.

"I just need to focus a little and I can send out a powerful strike enough to send ten magicians to the ground!" He boasted.

Miyuki rolled her eyes and snapped, "You think you are so pro is it? I don't even need to focus and I can already send ten magicians flying with my legendary punch!"

Regin made a disgusted look. "You filthy slum dwellers are so low, still so outdated and using such dirty tricks-"

"Oi! Who are you calling outdated?" Kitty interrupted him, fishing out her Iphone. "If you claim you are so refined, then tell me what this is, caveman boy!"

"Regin. It's your turn to demonstrate what you have learnt." Lord Balkan called for Regin as he gestured at the Arena.

Regin threw back his head and scoffed at Miyuki and Kitty. "Why should I? I have no time to waste on you dirty slum people. Now get out of my way for I have some important work to do here."

Miyuki and Kitty fumed as they watch Regin proudly display his striking skills in the Arena. They decided they need to find a way to get him to miss Warrior lessons.

"Regin Regin!" Kitty called out to the boy when Lord Balkan gave his fifteen minute break. "I have some news for you! The High Lord is seeking for your honorable presence! Right at this instant you are to head over to him!"

Regin snorted, unconvinced.

"You think I will fall for your lame pranks? No way!"

Kitty immediately put on her most genuine look and explained, "Miyuki and I are really speaking to you on the High Lord's behalf. Ah Curry has been our guardian before, and since he knows no other novices in this class, it is only right that he asks for us to convey his message to you."

At that, Miyuki rushed over and handed Regin a piece of paper. "Look! We even have Ah Curry's handwritten letter for you here!"

As Regin scanned through the letter, he nodded with understanding. "Indeed he is asking for me. I wonder why." He mumbled. "I think it's because I have always been displaying exceptionally great performance in the Warrior discipline. I am such an outstanding Warrior, after all."

The two girls snickered. Of course that letter was a fake one and what they did was to simply mimick Akkarin's handwriting. Regin is such a fool.

"Yes Regin!" Miyuki cried excitedly. "Besides passing on the message, we will help you to find Ah Curry himself too! We know where he usually is!"

Regin's face brightened. "Alright then. Take me to him now."

Ha Regin. You are indeed going to be an outstanding warrior later as you wait for Akkarin. You will see.

_Continue~_

It has been about a week since High Lord Akkarin requested the help of Miyuki and Kitty. Since then, he hasn't been saying much. Hence, Miyuki and Kitty decided to resume their prankings.

Regin was doodling on his homework. Exam is nearing, but he is unable to focus properly. His grades are already really bad, thanks to those two bratty girls.

"BOOOOOO!"

Speaking of the devil...

Kitty laughed. "Regin, why are you drawing? You think got a Drawing discipline is it?"

"What's this...?" Miyuki snatched his paper away before he had time to react.

"Its... a girl...? I cant tell. The drawing is so horrible."

Regin quickly stood up and try to get it back. That piece of paper contains important notes for his exams! What if they tear it?

"Ohhhh I know!" Miyuki yelled. "It must be Sonea!"

"Naughty naughty Regin!"

This time, Regin managed to snatched his Sonea drawing back from Kitty and Miyuki.

He protested, "It's not Sonea. Unlike other magicians, I do not have such dirty wanton needs."

"What wanton? Wanton noodles very nice, you know! Why you don't like?" Miyuki asked.

Regin had a frightened look on his face. He know, he totally know, that he is more than death if those two girls decide to pursue this matter. They will spread rumors, do everything to make him suffer. He anticipated their next words...

To his surprised, they turned and walked away.

"Phew..." he heaved a heavy sigh of relief and put his paper into his bag.

Suddenly, Kitty turned around.

"Regin. Don't you forget. The wind has a soul and the moon is the Eye. Watch out..."

He shivered...

It is Lord Rothen's Alchemy class. As usual, it's a really rotten class.

Bina and Issle were taunting and harassing Sonea. It was odd, but today wasn't bullying Sonea, but simply staring at the blackboard, in a daze.

"Now, would someone care to answer the next question?" Lord Rothen asked the class.

No one volunteered. It was a question about organic chemistry, which the class was very weak in. Kitty and Miyuki know the answer, because they were taught about it on Earth, but they believe that a rotten class deserves rotten answers so they dare not give marvellous answers.

Slowly, Sonea stood up and tried to answer Lord Rothen's question.

Issle snorted, and mimicked Sonea's mistakes, in a voice that doesn't even resemble Sonea's voice at all. Bina laughed and said, "We shouldn't even acknowledge her existence. My momma say it will stain our House and Family."

Issle laughed but continued making fun of Sonea.

This is so atrocious, Kitty thought angrily. How dare they bully Sonea like that, right in front of their teacher some more! Kitty turned to her left, wanting to tell Miyuki about this, but Miyuki was gone!

Meanwhile, Bina continued, "Issle, enough. You'll dirty your own name... AHHHH!"

Miyuki had come marching back into class, carrying a rubbish bin with her. She then poured its contents over Bina's head, and dumped the bin over her head.

"Stain your House and Family? Too bad you're already very dirty, BINa!"

Bina took the bin off of her head, and shrieked, quickly running out of the class.

"Miyuki!" Lord Rothen yelled. "Such behaviour is absolutely unacceptable in my class! Especially, considering the fact that you are my novice. I do not allow my own novice to behave in such outrageous manner!"

"Shut up, Rotten. I'm not done yet."

Issle raised her hands to smack Miyuki but Miyuki caught her hands in time. Kitty decided to join in the fun.

"Oh, Issle..." Kitty mocked. "It must be very fun to bully others, Issle it? It must be very nice to have such an ugly personality, Issle it?"

Now, every student in the class is watching them. Rothen is at a loss of what to do.

"Regin!" Issle shrieked in an annoying high-pitched voice. "Help me. Those two girls are bullying me."

Regin's reply shocked them all.

"Issle, just let the matter rest and apologize to Sonea."

There was absolutely no telling who was the most shocked person: Sonea, or Issle, or Miyuki and Kitty.

Regin? Wanting Issle to apologize to Sonea? The possibility of Akkarin quitting his drinking addiction is higher than the possibility of Regin wanting someone to apologize to Sonea.

"I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!" Kitty screamed. "Regin is in loveeeee~~!"

Regin's face was as red as his guardian Garrel's robes.

Regin stood up and ran out of the classroom, ignoring Rothen's yells.

"Don't forget, Regin." Miyuki called. "Use your Eyes to search for your Soul."

Kitty continued, "Ohhh Star-crossed lovers! You two should join the hunger games!"

"Dont be shy Regin! It will happen sooner or later in the second trilogy!"

"Some virgin is gonna lose his virginity! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Miyuki and Kitty watched, piqued with interest, as Regin carried the bouquet of roses and headed towards the Novices Quarter.

As he did so, his eyes darted back and forth, most probably to make sure no one notices him. And when the coast is clear, Regin grandly placed the roses at Sonea's room door.

Miyuki and Kitty tried hard to stifle their laughters as they witnessed Regin trot off with a nonchalant expression, as if he did nothing at all.

Then they dashed to the bouquet and picked it up sneakily. There was a little note among the flowers.

The two girls began reading what he wrote...

_"__To my dearest darling,_  
><em>I have been your secret admirer for a very long time. The moment I laid my eyes on you, I already knew we were meant for each other. You are the spark of my life. You keep me going. Whenever I see you in your robes, you look so stunning that I will always forget to breathe. Remember. I will always be your forever love.<em>  
><em>-Regin of House Paren, Family Winar"<em>

"Oh my god! So disgusting! I knew it! That virgin has a crush on Sonea!" Miyuki cried out. Her suspicions were right after all!

Kitty grinned darkly as she formulated out a plan in her head...

It was just like another usual morning in the Magicians Guild.

High Lord Akkarin dressed into his robes, and after double-confirming that there were no holes in it, he headed out of his Residence.

He was caught by surprise when he noticed a bouquet of roses at his door.

He stared at the roses and pondered over it.

"It must be those women from the other Houses again." He mused.

Due to his handsome looks and mysterious nature, he is very popular among the ladies.

In fact, the amount of ladies wanting to marry him is as many as the amount of water in the Tarali River.

However when he picked up the note and read the sender's name...

"Regin?" He cried out in disbelief. It was Regin's handwriting, no doubt about that.

Akkarin could never forget his statement of love.

_"__Whenever I see you in your robes, you look so stunning that I will always forget to breathe..."_

Akkarin looked down at his robes, deep in thoughts. He began making assumptions.

"So Regin likes the colour black." He mumbled, a frown on his face.

He abruptly remembered that incident where Miyuki and Kitty cut huge holes in his robes.

Now he finally understood why Regin was so pale when he questioned him.

He must be so awed by Akkarin's manhood that he forgot to breathe!

Akkarin grimaced at these thoughts, feeling utterly disgusted.

"Takan. Throw these away." Pointing to the roses, he instructed his servant.

Akkarin strolled towards the University to find Lord Rothen.

He planned to discuss with him on the Alchemy Lab accident. Although Rothen has recovered from the explosion, there were still a lot of details about the accident that the Guild was unclear of. By interrogating Rothen about it, he could then help to clarify those doubts the Guild have.

This job is supposedly to be done by Lorlen, but the Administrator was far too obsessed with his gong to care about anything else.

Akkarin sighed at the thought of Lorlen, and the miserable state he is in.

It is all his fault that his gong is gone...

Before he knew it, he had already reached the classroom.

Lord Rothen was still conducting lessons, so he stood outside to wait.

High pitched shouts and laughters emanated from within the classroom. The noise grinded on his ears. Curious, Akkarin peeped into the room...

Miyuki and Kitty were running around the classroom crazily like wild animals on the loose.

There was this girl who has a dustbin over her head. She appeared to be trembling.

"Regin! Please! Help me get this thing off!" She cried out, convulsed with sobbing.

Regin shunned away and refused to help her, for fear of provoking Miyuki and Kitty.

The two mischievous girls switched their attention to Regin.

"Virgin! Why aren't you helping your friend?"

"Oh I know! You know how they say some people can be so madly in love that they are blind to everything else in the world? Virgin is so deeply in love that he does not care about all these things anymore!"

Regin glared at Miyuki and Kitty menacingly, but there was still a distinct blush on his face when they mentioned "in love".

Akkarin backed away, horrified. So it is true after all.

Regin is really in love with him!

"Alright. Class dismissed." Lord Rothen announced at that moment. He had long learnt to ignore Miyuki and Kitty's antics.

The novices flocked out of the classroom.

Their eyes widened when they noticed Akkarin. Akkarin returned them his usual cold look when they bowed to him.

Until Regin came forth.

"High Lord. I would like to voice to you some of my concerns. My guardian Lord Garrel have been occupied with some Warrior work, so I haven't got the chance to speak to him." Regin explained.

He paused for an instant, then continued, "Miyuki and Kitty have been bullying me with really mean words recently. It is a form of emotional abuse, so I wish you could step in and administer to them the appropriate punishment."

Akkarin regarded Regin with apprehension. The more he look at the boy, the more he feel disturbed.

Suddenly all the contents in the love note flashed in his mind again...

Suddenly Akkarin just wants to avoid Regin and stay away from him as far as possible.

"Get away from me!" He hissed at Regin.

Regin stared at him in bewilderment. Did he say something wrong?

"I am sorry High Lord. Did I, erm, offend you? If I did, I am really sorry. I-"

"I say get away from me!"

Akkarin quickly walked away and went to find Kitty and Miyuki, who were torturing the novices who were torturing the novices who are constantly making fun of Sonea. It seems that those two novices have taken a liking to Sonea, always protecting her from people who look down on her, whether they are magicians or novices. He actually do not mind that they befriend her. Their friendship with Sonea, who is rather powerful for her age, might come in handy.

"Kitty. Miyuki." He spoke.

All the novices turned to look at him. The high lord is here, right in front of them. Quickly, the other novices ran away, leaving only Miyuki and Kitty there, who do not seem the least bit afraid.

"Ah Curry... How is your love life going?" Kitty sneered.

Miyuki laughed. "Say, do you think Dannyl's habits are acceptable?"

They burst out laughing.

Akkarin felt greatly disgusted. He ignored them and said, "Kitty, Miyuki. Meet me at my residence tonight."

To his surprise, Akkarin quickly received a painful kick in his nuts.

"AH CURRY! You crazy ah? You are a grown and perverted man!" Miyuki kicked him again. "You should know better than to invite two innocent and HELPLESS girls to your room at such late hours!"

"Oww..!" Akkarin healed the pain away with magic. "I'm not gonna do anything to you! The guild will kill me before you two do!"

They looked at each other, and then Miyuki and Kitty slowly nodded.

_Good. Because I have something really important to show them._  
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<p>

Finally, it is night. The moon is a crescent, a slit. Trudi Canavan said that this is the perfect night for secret lovers.

"Ha!" Kitty snorted, sensing Miyuki's thoughts. "Well, let's hope Regin does not have a secret meeting with Sonea, when the Eye is unable to watch him. I did warn him that even if the Eye is not watching, the soul of the Wind will always be there."

They laughed loudly and entered the High Lord's Residence. Takan greeted them respectfully, despite their rudeness and calling Takan "Makan".

While waiting for the High Lord to arrive, they admired the pictures of past High Lords that hung in the hallway of the Residence. Now that they have learned about each of them in history classes, they are able to talk more about them.

"Look at this High Lord. It is said that he never married. I am not surprised. Look at his face! Look like monkey. Not even handsome at all!"

"And this High Lord! I heard that he is even taller than Dannyl! No wonder a bit of his face is cut off!"

"Oh, and this High Lord..." Kitty pointed to the picture of the current High Lord. "I heard that he's a gay!"

"What is gay?" a voice boomed behind them.

Kitty and Miyuki turned around, only to find the Akkarin towering over them, staring straight into their eyes.

"Oh, gay is what you all call a la-"

Miyuki covered Kitty's mouth and say, "Gay means you are dark, tall and handsome!"

A smile appeared from the corners of Akkarin's lips. "Ah. I must say, I am quite gay, then."

Kitty and Miyuki burst out laughing at the High Lord's utter stupidity. He just admitted that he is gay! How could anyone be as stupid as he is, to believe a word that they say?

Akkarin ignored them and made his way to his dining table, and then gestured for the two girls to sit opposite of him. This must be something serious, seeing that Akkarin is not in the least bothered by their pranks and words. Silently, they sat down, and started grabbing delicious food from Akkarin's plate.

"Kitty. Miyuki."

"Om nom... Your servant Makan sure knows what's a good Makan."

"Kitty. Miyuki." Akkarin repeated.

They ignored him and continued gobbling down his food. Thank god they do not live with him, or he would be bankrupt within a week.

Seeing that no matter what he did, Kitty and Miyuki would not listen, Akkarin stood up and grabbed a knife. That startled them.

"AH CURRY! Don't kill us! I mean I know that we always call you ugly old man, but we didn't mean it! I mean, you are still ugly, but you are a young and..."

To their surprise, instead of aiming the knife at them, Akkarin started to cut his own palm. The blood ooze out freely.

Quickly regaining their composure, Miyuki said, "Oh my god, why are you cutting youself? Are you suicidal? Emo? Wait, you're not Yikmo, you're Akkarin! Ah Curry ah, please don't do rash things. If you have any problems, you should see a counsellor, or Mama Chan."

Ignoring them, Akkarin proceeded to shatter a wine glass into pieces.

This got Kitty rather excited, as she started saying, "Good. You are finally quitting your drinking addiction. I told you already, Anuren Dark not good for your health. Now you finally listen to me. Go on, smash more glasses!"

Still ignoring them, Akkarin started using some kind of magic, turning the blood and a piece of glass into a gem that resembles a ruby. However, the red in the gem is so red, they cannot forget that it is from Akkarin's own blood.

"How did you do that? Teach me! Then I will go and cut all the magicians and make gems using their blood! Then I can sell off all the gems and make lots of money!" Miyuki shrieked excitedly.

"Miyuki you are so clever! Oh yah don't forget to share your Gold with me when you become rich!"

Akkarin coughed and ordered. "Put this ring on. Now."  
>Miyuki looked at the ring in the same disgusted expression that Akkarin had used on Regin. "But, but why is it red? I don't like red, I prefer pink. Besides, why are you forcing me to wear your ring? Why are you proposing to me? I don't even want to marry you!"<p>

Kitty nodded. "And somemore you are already married to Takan! Naughty Ah Curry, how dare you have an affair behind his back!"

Suddenly, Akkarin shot something at them from his fingers. They were frozen on the spoke. It seemed like Akkarin had used a weak stunstrike to stun them for a while. Quickly, Akkarin slipped the rings into their fingers.

"Listen carefully. These are blood gems. The creator is able to hear the wearer's thoughts and see what they see and hear what they hear. Hence, everything you do, I will be watching. It also allows me to communicate with you without the risk of others hearing it. It is real useful. Don't you dare to take it of-"

Too late. Kitty and Miyuki had simultaneously removed the rings from their fingers and threw it onto the floor, squashing it beneath their feet till it shattered into unrecognizable bits and pieces.

"Ah Curry..." Kitty kicked Akkarin from behind, and he tumbled forward, kneeing down before Miyuki. "I think you are forgetting something. You may be the High Lord, but you are under our mercy and is in no position to order us around. One word from us, and they whole guild, and even everyone beyond the Allied Lands, will know of your dirty naughty secret."

"Yes, Akkarin. If anyone were to wear a blood gem... That would be you."

And with that, they marched out of Akkarin's Residence, without waiting for his reply.

"Phew! That was closed. If we had wore then ring longer, he might have found out the secret behind our magic."

"Indeed, Kitty. However, we did learn of one useful tool we can use in our future pranks..."

Dorrien has been called back to the guild, because Vinara wishes to discuss with him about a cure for cancer. He was excited to be back in the guild, so that he can see his father. And more importantly, he can see Sonea. The nearer he got to the guild, the more excited he felt.

How long has it been since he last saw Sonea? Months! But those months seems like thousands of eras to him. Oh, he so long to kiss that sweet mouth of hers again.

He put his hand into his pocket. He had a ring ready.

_Today... I... I will propose! Yes, I will muster up courage to propose to Sonea!_

He nodded to himself and made his way into the University, his lips all prepared for that legendary kiss.

Miyuki and Kitty wandered off into the slums again, hoping to find more people to prank.

"We should go and cheat some shopkeepers of their Gold!" Kitty suggested.

Miyuki laughed and as she was about to give another suggestion, she spotted a strangely familiar figure.

"Isn't that...the Cherry guy?" She cried out with surprise.

"Where where where?" Kitty probed on, excited to prank him.

Miyuki pointed at a short boy standing in the raka shop nearby.

Laughing loudly, the two mischievous girls dashed into the shop.

Noticing that Cery was at the counter, they hid at a corner and observed...

"I would like to buy that whole crate of raka." Cery requested.

The shop owner's eyes widened.

"The whole crate?"

"Yes. I want every single cup of raka in there."

"But this is the only raka stock I have left for today! What about my other customers? They will have no more raka to drink!" The shop owner was a little hesitant at first.

But then Cery fished out some Gold from his pocket and made a great offer.

"All these raka originally cost 130 Gold right? I will pay you 250 Gold for them."

The coins sparkled under the sunlight. They look so tempting that the shop owner could not resist it anymore.

His greed got the better of him.

"This whole thing for you then." He told Cery as he handed the whole crate over to the boy.

Cery grinned.

The shop owner even asked him whether he will need some men to assist him in carrying the crate.

"No worries." Cery assured him. "I will carry it myself. The Magicians Guild is not so far from here anyway."

Miyuki and Kitty got extremely curious when they heard "Magicians Guild".

"I thought all the magicians and novices hate raka because they are from the so-called higher-ranks? This type of thing too low-class for them! He giving this raka to who?" Kitty wondered aloud, feeling bewildered.

"Yah!" Miyuki agreed. "They all just want to be somo wrestler!"

But at that moment, she hit sudden realisation.

"Wait. Not all the Guild people hate raka! Remember? Sonea LOVES raka!"

"Is he going to give that whole crate to Sonea?"

Miyuki replied eagerly, "I think so? Come, let's follow him!"

Regin had not had much sleep the whole week. It all started when Kitty and Miyuki made fun of his drawing, and constantly teasing him about Sonea.

It was impossible. He will never love a lowly slum girl like Sonea.

And yet, every time he thinks of her, he cannot help but feel certain emotions stir inside him. He cannot be love, can it?

Regin sighed and began to write another letter. The previous letter he wrote had been unanswered and he did not know why. This time, he was determined to give this letter to Sonea in person.

_Dearest Sonea,_

_You're stronger than the taste of sumi, with eyes more beautiful than the full moon, and a soul purer than the wind. Under your gaze, I shiver under my robes. Your wisdom is greater than Lord Sarin, your kindness greater than Lady Vinara and your might is stronger than Lord Balkan. Lady Sonea, if you oh so return my feelings, please meet me by the willow oak tree tonight._

_Love,_  
><em>Regin of House Paren, Family Winmar<em>

He sealed the letter with a kiss and set off to find Sonea.

Yesterday, Akkarin went to visit a waterfall. It was a beautifully magnificent waterfall and the whole time, the only thought on his mind was bringing someone he loves to see it with him.

Sonea...

Her face came to his mind somehow. The little rogue, as he prefers to call her.

Why was he thinking about her? He was a great high lord and she was simply a lowly novice.

Maybe, she was the person he wishes to show the waterfall to. It must be it!

Determined, High Lord Akkarin set off to find Sonea.

And so, four brave and charming young men, each of different origin but with the same goal in mind. One wields a ring, one carries a crate, one with a letter and the last with the vision of a waterfall. Off they marched, towards their dream.

Miyuki was bored. Kitty was out making some preparations for future pranks and she left here to do some boring guild homework.

Sigh, if only there was something fun to do!

Her stomach grumbled, signalling her hunger. Standing up, she searched around for some food.

"OWWWWW!"

She collided with the edge of the wall, and felt something sharp piercing her thighs.

_Blood..._

She was bleeding. Quickly, she search the table for some tissue to wipe the blood away. There was nothing on the table except some wine glass that she stole from the High Lord's Residence. Oh no, what is she going to do with the blood...?

Blood... Glass...

Blood...

Glass...

Those two words clicked. She can make a blood gem similar to the one that Akkarin made! And the best thing about this blood gem is that it allows one to hear the thoughts of the wearer! Imagine, if she gave it to her teacher, she can hear their thoughts as they set the questions for the exams, hence letting her know the answers. How useful it would be!

With much excitement bursting in her chest, she smashed the wine glass and picked up a small piece. She recalled how Akkarin had used his hands to do some stuffs to turn it into a gem. Awkwardly, she mimicked his gestures.

Nothing happened.

She tried again. Still, nothing happen. It was surprising, because the truth was, unlike what the High Lord thought, she and Kitty have no magic in them.

"ArghHHHhhhhHH! Turn into a blood gem already, you stupid piece of..."

Something weird happened. Something surged through her.

She looked down at her hands again.

A perfect diamond shaped gem, dark red in colour, laid at the palm of her hand. A smile spread across her face.

"Oh my god! I can hear people's thoughts now!" She screamed in delight. "OMG, who shall I give it to?"

Running out of her dorm room, she head towards the University. Any teacher would do. Once a teacher wear it, she will never need to worry about exams anymore, for their thoughts will tell her everything.

_I hope that it will be a alchemist teacher! I suck so much at that discipline._

But it wasn't Rothen or Sarrin that appeared. It was Lord Yikmo, the weirdo warrior teacher.

Fine, he will do...

"Hey, Emo!" Miyuki called out. "Emooooooo!"

Yikmo stopped in his track, looking puzzled that Miyuki is calling him. The expression on his face was head to read. It seemed like he was shocked, yet it seemed like he was scared.

"Yes, Miyuki? What is it?"

"Well... Lord Emo..." She took the blood gem out of her pocket and handed it to Yikmo. "Will you put this on? It's erm... It's a present from me to you, because you're the best warrior teacher EVER!"

Yikmo hesitated. "Miyuki... I'm not supposed to accept gifts from novices."

"Pwease... Pwease Pwease Pwease...! Lord Emo..." Miyuki pouted and squeezed out some tears from her eyes. "Emo, I will be so sad if you reject my gift. In fact, I might join you and being an emo myself."

"Well.. I... I can't... Oh, alright. Just once, I will accept." Yikmo slipped the ring onto his third finger. "But, you must not tell anyone of this!"

"Sure. no problem, thanks Emo!"

Success! She was about to skipped her way back to her dorm, but she stopped. Something unexpected happened.

_- Why did Miyuki give me a ring...? Is it because she likes me...?_

Ha! As if! I am only giving you a ring because I am the best cheater in the world.

- _Well, I like her too..._

Huh?

_- But... A relationship between a teacher and their novice is... forbidden..._

Huh? What?

She turned around sharply. Yikmo was still there, looking at her. His face was all red.

"Erm... Emo...?"

"Huh?"

"Emo.. Yikmo... You..."

"Oh, erm, nothing..." he blushed even more deeply. "I have to go to my next class now. Bye, Miyuki."

He quickly left, leaving Miyuki in shock.

Yikmo... Is in love with her...?

"I don't understand." Miyuki voiced out her doubts. "Why you love Lorlen so much? He is just a lorry! I would rather love a BMW or a Mercedes!"

Kitty frowned and chided Miyuki, "Miyuki! That's very rude! Stop being so racist, or rather, stop being vehicle-ist!"

With that she continued, "Mere words could not convey my feelings towards Lorlen. Only a song could embody my deep, never-ending love towards him!"

And she began singing...

"Now that I am a novice  
>I find it rather silly<br>To see how many Kyralians I could meet

I have my pranks to play  
>Didn't know that I will ever need<br>A magician, to make my life complete

But there is one man that I care for  
>I knew he would be there for me!<p>

My sweet lover, Lorlen forever!  
>Like two peas in a pod<br>We did everything together

He taught me how to wear a robe  
>Lovers forever!<p>

He never give me a single strike  
>We did everything together!<p>

We share sumi, we share a bed!  
>I miss him more than I realise,<br>It seems..."

At this point, Miyuki joined in for fun.

"Your sweet lover, Lorlen forever!  
>Like two peas in a pod<br>You did everything together!"

Tears were already flowing down Kitty's face.

"Ohhh. Just the mention of his name send my heart pounding in waves of anticipation!" She cried out as she resumed her singing.

"And though he's busy with his work  
>I still love him so much<br>My sweet lover Lorlen...  
>Forever...<br>Forever-er..."

Kitty held the gong firmly in her hands as she headed to Administrator Lorlen's office.

Seeing the weary, disoriented look on Lorlen's face have sent pangs of remorse through her, and she is determined to return Lorlen his beloved gong.

But could there be any other reason why she is doing this? Kitty pondered over it.

Other reasons? Like what?

She thought about her previous encounters with Lorlen. Ever since that truth read, she have been feeling a particularly strong attraction towards the magician. Whenever his eyes meet hers, her heart would pound furiously and she would feel her face warming up.

Kitty gasped.

Could it be...?

"Come in." Before she knew it, she was already in front of Lorlen's office and the door swung open upon her knock.

"Administrator, I am sorry. The gong...Miyuki and I...we...your gong..." Kitty stuttered as she tried to seek Lorlen's forgiveness.

Lorlen began trembling with agitation when he saw his gong.

He stood up, his face flooded with intense emotions. His gaze travelled over to Kitty, and Kitty noticed strong desire in his eyes.

And then he confided in an unnaturally soft voice, "Kitty! I just realised! All this while, I have not been searching for my gong-I have been searching for a missing part of my heart!"

Kitty edged away, taken aback by Lorlen's agitation.

She could only manage, "Erm, you have a heart problem? Do you need me to take you to the Healers?"

Lorlen shook his head and reached out to touch Kitty's cheek lightly. "And this missing part of my heart...It is you, Kitty! No one but you!"

With that he took his gong and tossed it out of the window as he cried out, "I have not found my gong, Kitty. And I will never find it. But that's okay. Because I have found you!"

Before Kitty could react, Lorlen stepped forward and pulled her into a hug.

High Lord Akkarin paced about outside the Magicians' Quarter. Looking up at Lorlen's room on the second floor, he was overcame with guilt.

He felt like telling Lorlen the truth about his gong's disappearance-that it is not Fergun who have hidden it, but Kitty and Miyuki. But what consequences would fall upon him if he speak out the truth?

Kitty and Miyuki would take revenge! They would reveal the Guild his black magic secret, and he would be executed!

"I would be executed all because of a gong, but it would be worth it. As long as I have my old Lolen back." He told himself, finally coming to a resolve.

But then before he knew it, a gong came flying out of the window and crushed heavily on his head.

The last thing he could remember was the sharp pain on his head as he collapsed to the ground.

"Are you ready for this, Lorry-I mean my Lorlen?" Kitty asked the Administrator as she gave him a seductive wink.

Lorlen nodded, but a little hesitantly.

"It's okay, Lorlen. No one will come into your room." Kitty assured.

Nevertheless Lorlen still turned to the door and put another magicial lock on it.

He then cleared his throat and extinguished his globe light.

"I am ready, Kitty." He announced.

Blue robes and brown robes were thrown hastily to the floor and Kitty felt the pressure of Lorlen on top of her.

She moaned a little as she prepared herself.

Abruptly Lorlen got up, and Kitty felt disappointment surged through her.

"What's wrong, Lorlen?"

Lorlen headed to his gong and took it out, just like how he always do before a Hearing.

Kitty was bewildered. "How did you get your gong back, Lorlen? I thought you threw it away!"

Lorlen grinned and replied, "Lord Sarrin returned me my gong. He found it downstairs, and Akkarin was lying beside it."

Kitty frowned. How in the name of King Merin could Akkarin be lying beside the gong?

**GONG! GONG! GONG!**

Her thoughts were disrupted as Lorlen struck his gong loudly.

She stared at Lorlen in disbelief.

"LORLEN! What are you doing? This is not a Hearing!" She exclaimed.

Lorlen blushed sheepishly and apologised, "I am sorry, Kitty. I guess old habits die hard."

Kitty froze as the sound of the gong echoed throughout the whole Guild. We are catching attention to ourselves, she realised with shock.

Lorlen froze in fear as he discovered that he had made a huge mistake.

"Oh no! What would happen if the Administrator is found bedding a novice?" Kitty stammered in horror,

"My gong will be confiscated!" Lorlen cried out.

Just then they heard the sound of magicians' footsteps dashing towards their room.

Kitty grabbed her brown robes and quickly ducked under the bed.

She watched as Lorlen redressed hurriedly.

The door was flung open and light streamed into the room.

All the Higher Magicians rushed in,

"Administrator! I heard your gong! Is there supposed to be a Hearing now?" Lord Balkan asked.

Lorlen paled and tried to use magic to straighten his robes.

"What is wrong with you, Lorlen? Ever since you lost your gong, you have been behaving erratically," Lady Vinara observed, her brows creased with concern.

Out of the blue, Lord Balkan pointed at Lorlen's bed and shouted out accusingly, "Who is under your bed, Lorlen? I sensed some movements!"

Lorlen's face was white, and he tried desperately to push all the magicians out.

They all gave him questioning looks, and Lorlen was forced to come out with the first excuse that came to his mind.

"It's Akkarin! Akkarin is hiding under my bed!"

There were sharp intakes of breath.

"Why would the High Lord be hiding under your bed? Is this the way you two discuss Guild matters?" Vinara demanded in suspicion.

At that moment a cool dark voice spoke.

"Did someone mention my name?"

Everyone turned to see a robed figure walking up from behind them. There was a bandage on his head, but that familiar face is unmistakeable.

"High Lord Akkarin!"

All the magicians present bowed to show their respect.

Lord Balkan turned back to Lorlen and commented with feigned surprise, "Oh. I didn't know there are two High Lords in the Guild."

Without waiting for Lorlen to reply, he went over to the bed and dragged Kitty out.

"What have you got to say about this, Administrator?"

Lorlen opened his mouth, but no words came out.

Kitty kicked Balkan. "Walao, Broken! You broke my awesome plan to scare Lorlen! Ah Curry, you better tell the magicians to get out before we all find out the secret about gongs and black robes!"

She winked cunningly at Akkarin. Akkarin stepped back a little, realising what he had just done to himself. He gave the girls even more reasons to threaten him.

Akkarin decided that he had no choice but to oblige to Kitty.

"Would you all please leave, and return Lorlen his privacy?" Akkarin turned to the Higher Magicians and kindly requested.

There were looks of disgust on their faces.

Balkan cried out in horror, "I would hate to be rude, but you are the High Lord! There is no reason for you to listen to a lowly novice! Kitty is climbing all over your head, do you know that?"

Kitty laughed and commented, "I would love to climb on Ah Curry's head, but he is too tall!"

Vinara glared at Kitty with contempt before she turned her attention back to Akkarin and gave her suggestion.

"High Lord, there is something fishy going on in here! It could not be just a simple prank! We should investigate!"

Akkarin frowned at Vinara and warned, "Just let the matter go! Otherwise I will throw away all your Healing herbs!"

Vinara paled.

Sarrin tried to speak up against the High Lord's decision.

"This is just wrong, High Lord! You can't just let Kitty off like that!"

Akkarin gave Sarrin a cold half-smile and warned him, "How dare you, to have the audacity to oppose me. If you continue on being so disrespectful, I will have no choice but to confiscate your walking stick."

The fear on Sarrin's face was apparent as he quickly excused himself.

"Now I don't mean to be rude to anyone. But can you all return Lorlen his privacy?" Akkarin then instructed the magicians firmly.

Some magicians were frowing in bewilderment, some wore disgusted expressions, while some simply shrugged and walk off.

Mumurs filled the air as they made their leave.

After confirming that the coast is clear, Kitty got out from her hiding spot.

"That was a close one!" She cried out, heaving a sigh of relief.

Akkarin eyed Lorlen expectantly.

"Well it's-it's nothing much actually." Lorlen stuttered as he tried to explain himself. "Kitty just came over for-for a casual visit and we were simply erm-erm chatting with each other when they-they came."

The skeptical look on Akkarin's face was apparent.

Lorlen cowered with fear. Kitty noticed that he was all tensed up. Her heart throbbed with care and concern towards him.

No. She is not going to let Akkarin intimidate her Lorlen. Her sweet lover Lorlen...

She turned to Akkarin and revealed to him with a confident demeanor.

"Fine. I will just tell you the real reason. Lorlen and I are in love."

Akkarin had somehow been expecting this answer, but it was still shocking to hear the truth.

The High Lord cried out with horror, "You and Lorlen are...?

Kitty sighed in exasperation and pushed the High Lord out.

But before she let Akkarin go, she did not forget to end off with a warning.

"Ah Curry ah. I am sure I do not need to remind you about the consequences that will fall upon you should you alert the Guild about this."

It was the dreaded warrior class again. Today, Yikmo decided to give everyone a surprise test.

- _... shall allow me to see how well-prepared they are under unprepared circumstances._

Walao, Yikmo, nothing better to do, is it?

Kitty and Miyuki looked at each, and smiled. While they are unable to use magic, they always manage to win every single fight. Using physical means.

"Now, I shall call two names, according to abilities, and you will both have a duel with each other." Yikmo said. "First, we have Regin and Miyuki."

Miyuki avoided Yikmo's eyes as she stood in the arena, facing Regin. Through the red gem, Miyuki heard all of Yikmo's thoughts, most are normal, but sometimes he thought of her. Suddenly, her face went all red and she stared at the ground.

Kitty snorted. "Emooooo! You pair up the wrong people, is it? According to abilities? But Miyuki is so much better than Regin, you know?"

Yikmo ignored her and shouted, "Start!"

- _Miyuki, you can do it! Strike him!_

No, no, no... This is all so embarrassing.

Miyuki so badly want to dig a hole and bury her head there forever. No, wait, actually, she so badly want to dig a hole and bury Yikmo in there forever. Why, why is Yikmo thinking such thoughts!

"ARGHHHHHH!"

Something hit her stomach, and then she gave in to the pull of gravity. A sneer was heard, belonging to Regin.

"Miyuki!" Kitty yelled. "Why you lose to that Virgin! His ass is so easy to kick! Oh, are you giving him chance? Ah, I knew you would never lose to him one."

It hurts. This was the first time a real powerful stunstrike had struck her. Goodness, it hurts like mad.

"Miyuki! Hold on, Miyuki!"

Yikmo came rushing over, and picked Miyuki up, Bridal style.

"I don't need your help, Emo!" Miyuki cried. "Don't touch me!"

"But, you are... hurt!"

"I can heal myself, thank you very much." Miyuki lied.

Yikmo still refused to put her down. It was such an embarrassing position. And what's more, all the novices were looking at her. This so doesn't look right...

_Fine... He's asking for it then..._

With a kick that summoned all her strength, Miyuki gave Yikmo's head one hard kick.

And they both fell to the ground... Yikmo on top of her.

_Oh no... Shit just got even worse._

Kitty was surprised when she realised that night had already fallen.

She had stayed in the library for the whole day, pranking Lady Tya and the other novices.

Looking out the library window, she noticed that the full moon was shining brightly.

"Look! There's the Eye!" She heard Bina point out to her friend.

Kitty grinned and threw her a book about the human eye as she asked her, "You say there's an eye right? But which part of the eye? The iris or the cornea?"

Bina was confused. Kitty laughed at her hilarious expression.

She jeered, "Oh my god you don't know what an eye it? Your biology fail lah!"

After smacking Bina's head with a book and leaving her crying, Kitty left the library, pleased with herself.

As she exited she could hear Lady Tya's sigh of relief. Even Lady Tya could not stop her from fooling around.

As Kitty made her way down the empty corridor, she thought she heard footsteps coming from behind her.

She spun round in surprise but there was not a soul in sight.

It must be one of Miyuki's pranks again...

"Miyuki! Stop stalking me! If you continue stalking me, I will burn all of Yikmo's robes! Then he will have to dress in commoner clothes forever!"

There was no reply. Silence hung in the air.

This is weird, Kitty thought.

Nevertheless she carried on walking...

There was an abrupt movement in front of her. Kitty gasped as a few novices leapt out from behind the pillar.

"Got you!" They cried out in joy.

She instinctively shouted out, "You all siao ah! So old already still playing hide and seek! I rather play hide and seek with Ah Curry then play with you!"

Kitty scoffed and turned away from them, but froze in terror when she realised that there were four more novices behind her!

Since when did they...? And why...?

But there were no time for her to think through it all.

All the doubts in her cleared as she spotted a familar face among the group.

Regin the Virgin!

Regin glared at Kitty intensely, his face twisted with malice.

Rubbing his hands together evily, he whispered menacingly, "Should we have some fun, Kitty?"

Fear surged through Kitty.

She looked around desperately, but there was no other way out! She is surrounded by all the novices and trapped in their circle!

And she is outnumbered! She couldn't possibly punch them all without the risk of she herself getting attacked!

Regin was truly enjoying himself now, basking in this moment of pride.

"Why so scared, Kitty? I thought you love playing pranks? It's the same here! We are also going to play a prank! Trust me, you will have a whale of a time!"

Kitty was horrified. Under normal circumstances, Kitty will have laughed at his "whale of a time" idiom, but now is simply not a time for joking.

"Are you sure we will not get into trouble?" A novice asked Regin hesitantly.

Regin brushed his concern off and assured him.

"If we get into trouble, I will take full responsibility."

Relief flooded all the novices' faces. Kitty's heart pounded furiously as she saw their determined looks.

"Should we give her a weak or strong strike?" Another novice questioned.

Kitty trembled.

So that was what they were planning to do to her...

"A strong one." Regin answered. "She has strong magic, and her shield will just block off a weak strike."

Immediately a powerful stunstrike hit Kitty, taking her off guard.

Kitty shrieked with aghast as she felt piercing pain. This is even worse than Akkarin's strikes!

Regin looked down at her, a satisfied grin spreading across his ugly face.

He made a gesture, and Kitty felt another strike hit her. The strike felt even more stronger than ever before, and Kitty could feel her heart nearly stopping.

Intense pain were now searing through her every vein.

She tried hard to run away, but once she took a step, the surroundings around her started spinning around and she is forced to retreat back to Regin and his group!

"Why isn't she shielding?" She heard someone ask.

Now that he had discovered Kitty's weakness, Regin grew all excited and he urged them to continue. More strikes rained down on her.

Kitty stumbled back, wincing in agony.

Without a shield, Kitty knows that she is vulnerable to the full force of the attacks and if this continues on, she would be doomed in no time!

As Kitty got hit again and again with strike after strike, her howls and pains of torture weakened to become soft, unsteady whimpers.

Her vision began blurring. Kitty could feel consciousness leaving her.

She thought it would soon be all over. She thought she would die under Regin's hands. She sunk into an abyss of hopelessness.

But at this moment...

**GONG! GONG! GONG!**

Sounds of a gong being struck was heard. Kitty felt a sense of familiarity.

That gong! There was no doubt, no doubt at all...

From the corner of her eye, Kitty saw a scurry of blue robes.

A spark of hope lit up in her. Her saviour is here! Her prince on a white horse!

The relentless striking on her ceased as abruptly as they have started.

"Administrator." The novices bowed and greeted nervously.

Lorlen's eyes fell onto Kitty. His shocked expression was unmistakeable. He was so stunned that he dropped his gong.

"Kitty!" He called out, horrified. He took a few hasty steps towards her.

However he remembered his position and quickly backed away, controlling his impulses.

He turned towards Regin and the novices. Their faces were already striken with fear.

"What are you all doing here?" He questioned them sternly.

There was no reply.

Lorlen fixed his glare particularly on Regin and warned him coldly, "According to the Guild laws, no one is allowed to harm another man or woman unless in defense of the Allied Lands, so this act of yours is deemed a violation of the laws and you are accountable for severe punishment."

Regin turned as white as sheet and tried to come up with a reasonable explanation.

"We...we meant no...no harm towards Kitty." Regin stammered. "We were just...just training her."

"Yes! She requested us to train her!" Another novice added on, his voice shaky.

Lorlen's face darkened. Obviously he was not taken in by the lies.

He took out his notepad and scribbled down the names of all the novices.

"Now go back to your rooms. Before I give you the same training you all gave Kitty." He threatened.

Regin and his group were already trembling, and at his command, they quickly scattered and dashed back to their respective rooms.

Words could not describe the utmost relief Kitty felt.

The corridor now held an air of calmness and serenity, and she could hear no other sounds expect her and Lorlen's breathing.

Kitty tried to look up to thank Lorlen, but she was too weak to even lift up her head. Instead she could only remain in her position, slumped feebly against the walls.

"KITTY! Hang in there!" Lorlen cried out desperately. "I can't afford to lose you!"

He grasped Kitty's hand tightly. Almost immediately, Kitty sensed soothing streams of Healing magic flowing into her.

Lorlen is Healing her!

She wanted to protest and ask Lorlen to save his magic for something else but she realised that she must not die. If she dies, what will happen of her Lorlen?

Thus she resorted to closing her eyes and letting his powers surge through her...

Her weariness gradually dissipated into nothing, and soon Kitty felt energy returning into her.

She opened her eyes slowly and could see Lorlen frowning with intense concentration. He's putting in a lot of effort into this!

Lorlen is using as much magical strength as he could exert just to Heal me, Kitty realised with a start.

_(Sonea and the four suitors)_

Miyuki and Kitty observed Sonea with interest.

Sonea's head was buried in her books again, focussing so much on her studying that she didn't even notice her two friends.

"When you add metal to an acid, you get a salt and hydrogen..." She mumbled, her whole brain filled with Alchemy.

"Sonea, you should really take a break from studying and go out more." Miyuki advised her. "Who knows, you might even meet a magician and fall in love with him!"

"Exactly!" Kitty agreed with her. "See? I got Lorlen now, and Miyuki got Yikmo. I don't care! You must find a special someone too!"

Sonea shook her head and laughed.

"It's okay. I am already very satisfied to have you two as my best friends. I don't need-"

Kitty cut into Sonea's words and cried out with aghast, "WHAT? How could you say you don't need one?"

Turning to Miyuki, she suggested, "Miyuki! Let's help Sonea find a perfect lover!"

Miyuki nodded excitedly.

The two girls began singing...

Kitty:

Sonea is so sweet and kind  
>She's the best novice we could hope for<br>The perfect lover you and I must find  
>Want to really make her heart soar-oar!<p>

Miyuki:

But...  
>Dorrien's too young, Rothen's too old<br>Jerrick clearly has a terrible cold  
>Lorlen's too silly<br>(Points at Akkarin)  
>He's way too scary!<p>

Akkarin: Shut up!

Kitty:

(Points at Takan)  
>Well nothing's wrong with this one, he seems alright...<p>

Miyuki:

But he's an Ichani!

Kitty:

(Points at Yikmo)  
>How about this one, he's far too emo<br>(Points at Garrel, who just came out from the Tarali River)  
>He would do, if he won't so splashy!<p>

Miyuki:

(Points at Regin)  
>Too short!<br>(Points at Dannyl)  
>Too tall!<br>(Points at Sarrin)  
>Too clean!<br>(Points at Cery)  
>Too smelly!<p>

Kitty:

(Points at Akkarin again)  
>He's strangely obssessed with Anuren Dark!<p>

"WAIT!" Sonea shouted, disrupting their song.

Miyuki and Kitty stared at her expectantly.

"Actually, I already have four suitors." She revealed. "And they were all mentioned in your song!"

Kitty let out a gasp of shock.

"Really? Oh my god! Rothen is mentioned in our song! Please don't tell me he is one of them! Sonea, you do know that a novice and a guardian can never-"

Miyuki was so agitated that she did not wait for Kitty to finish her sentence.

"That suitor better not be Yikmo!" She exclaimed. "If you dare to snatch away my Yikmo, I will make sure you suffer under my pranks!"

"Tell us! Who are those lucky men?" Kitty demanded, looking at Sonea intently.

Sonea blushed deeply as she whispered, "This-this is too embarassing. I am not going to tell you."

Miyuki and Kitty grinned.

That's not going to be a problem. They will just find that out themselves...

"Help! HELP! Sonea has fainted! Someone, any magician, please help!"

Many magicians crowded around but no one bothered to help. They believed that Miyuki and Kitty were up to some pranks again.

"Please!" Kitty begged dramatically. "We really need someone to help Sonea!"

Still, no one stepped forward.

Until...

"Sonea's hurt?! Let me in!" Regin yelled and pushed his tiny and weak body through the crowd.

Akkarin, who was sitting at a corner minding his business and trying to look scary, snapped his head up and walked towards Sonea.

"Sonea!" Cery cried. "What did I teach ya about fighting, girl? You are strong enough not to get hurt!"

And finally, Dorrien rushed over saying, "Sonea! I'll heal you!"

At the side, Kitty and Miyuki looked at each other and grinned. They have figured out who the 4 suitors of Sonea were. It was simple. Whoever risked looking like a fool to step in to help Sonea (whom they ahve punched unconscious) was definitely Sonea's suitor.

It was Regin, Akkarin, Cery and Dorrien.

Before Miyuki and Kitty had time to gloat about their success, hell broke loose in the room. The 4 suitors were arguing, some almost about to use violence.

"Sonea needs my help! She doesn't need any of yours!"

"Oh yeah? I say that I am most fit to help her!"

The arguing got even more fiercer as each try to boast about their abilities.

Dorrien said, "I am a healer. I am all that Sonea needs because I can protect her."

Cery snorted. "I am a thief and am skilled in the arts of defense than any of you magicians here. She needs me for survival."

"That's nothing!" Regin said in his annoying high-pitched pre-puberty voice. "I command the novices, they listen to every word I say. One word from me and no one will dare bully Sonea ever."

Miyuki laughed out loud at that, saying, "Aren't you always the one who bullies her?" Regin went red in the face. Miyuki did not wait for him to give his explanation, but instead, turned to Akkarin and asked, "What about you, Ah Curry? What can you do for Sonea? Teach her how to hold her liquor?"

"I am the High Lord of the Magician's Guild." he said simply.

No one dared to question his abilities after that.

"Hey hey! I got an idea!" Kitty shouted out loud, an imaginary light bulb appearing above her head. Her face was full of mischiefs and ideas. "How about... We hold a competition? Imagine, the four suitors of Sonea will get a chance to compete fairly against each other and the winner walks away with a prize - Sonea's hand in marriage."

"W-What? Suitors? Marriage?" the four men of varying ugliness cried out loud in unison.

Miyuki butted in, loving the idea of a competition. "Yeah right. I can smell the stench of love when I smell it. And I swear, the stench of love on the four of you is stronger than Dorrien's herbs, Cery's slum smell, Regin's butt and Ah Curry's wine."

The four men were speechless. Their faces grew even redder than Balkan's robes and they looked down, not daring to meet anyone's eyes.

Regin insisted, "I-I... I do not like Sonea! Who would like a slum girl like her?"

Miyuki grinned and started reciting something very familiar to him. "_To my dearest darling,_ _I have been your secret admirer for a very long time._" She paused for a while to enjoy the shock that registered in Regin's face. "_The moment I laid my eyes on you, I already knew we were meant for each - "_

"Isn't that the love letter meant for me?" Akkarin cried out in shock.

Regin was quick to defend himself. "What? That was for Sonea! High Lord, now I understand why you were acting strangely towards me the whole month!"

"Hmph." he said. "I should have known it was a prank."

"Alrighty, thieves, magicians, novices and high lords!" Miyuki snapped her fingers to get their attention. "So, how about that competition?"

This time, it was Dorrien that spoke. "I... You have no proof that I like Sonea!"

Kitty laughed. "Then, may I ask, why are you carrying that little box with you? Could it be... A wedding ring?"

Dorrien took one step back and said nothing.

"Anyone else?" Kitty asked. "Anyone else would like their love for Sonea exposed? No? Okay, good! We will hold the competition one week from now. Be there, be square. Or a circle or triangle if that's what you'd prefer."

The four men had no choice but to accept it. Their love for Sonea overpowered all thought and logic. Moreover, to back out from the competition would result them in losing face and these men sure would not want that to happen.

Meanwhile, Sonea groaned and opened her eyes. "Urgh... I feel dizzy, and in pain. Like someone punched me in the head hard."

"Oh Sonea!" Miyuki said delightfully. "You fainted just now. Anyway, guess what? Cery, Regin, Dorrien and Ah Curry are going to compete for your hand in marriage!"

Hearing that, Sonea fainted again.

**Oh no... A competition among Regin, Cery, Akkarin and Dorrien for Sonea's hand in marriage? What has the world become?**


End file.
